The Formative Years
by thatTWWgirl
Summary: Donna Moss transfers to Harvard for her sophomore year of college, hoping for a new start, a more challenging setting, and a couple of states between her and her ex boyfriend. What she finds is cut throat peers, a roommate who likes to party, and a TA who would be cute if he wasn't so damn obnoxious.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alright, gang, here it is: my obligatory college AU. I wasn't going to start it right now, but I hit kind of a wall while writing an** ** _Orphan Collective_** **chapter (it's based on the episode Holy Night, and it ended up being _way_ longer than I thought it would be). So, here's this! Who knows when I'll update it, I've got a lot of balls in the air, but I thought I'd get it going and see what you all think :)**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

 **Rating: T for now**

 **Disclaimer: If they were mine, would my bank account read $12.53?**

 **Reviews: Yes please! Always.**

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"And, this is it. Our main street. It's not much, we're not really 'downtown.' We've got our own bubble, if you stay on main campus. Which you will for now, given your classes. But, I can find you the good night life if that's what you're looking for."

"Um." Donna hesitates. Her first day in Cambridge has been nothing if not a whirlwind. Her roommate, Stella, a senior sociology major, has gone to every length to make her feel at home, but Donna can't help but be overwhelmed. Stella certainly knows the ins and outs of the campus better than any freshman or sophomore would, but Donna almost regrets deciding against dorm living. She'd probably have stronger camaraderie with someone equally as scared and intimidated. "Yeah, maybe."

"Great! There's a 'welcome back' party I'm going to tonight, wanna tag along?"

"I don't know. Kinda tired..."

"Oh, it'll be fun! You can meet people. Seniors. Get some street cred." Stella jokes, as if they're still in high school.

Donna gives a wan smile. "Maybe."

"Plus, classes don't start for a few days. It's not like you have to be up early tomorrow." Stella keeps walking, enthusiastically reasoning with her new roommate. Her outgoing personality is admittedly infectious.

"Fair enough."

"This is probably a bit much, huh? I've never been to Wisconsin, but something tells me it's... Quieter."

Donna snorts. "Actually, we're a pretty big party school."

"Oh yeah?"

"They're." She corrects. "I meant, _they're_ a pretty big party school."

"Is that why you wanted to transfer?"

If only things were that simple. "Sort of. I jut wanted... More. I wanted a challenge."

"Fair enough. Well, you found it. Welcome to the ivy covered hallowed halls of Harvard." Stella chuckles, and shoots Donna a conspiratorial grin. "It's not as scary as it seems right now. Trust me - if I can hack it, you can."

Donna folds her arms and smiles back shyly. She gazes out at the numerous redbrick buildings, and through an archway to the grassy quad. She thinks about the intellectual giants who have walked this campus, the ideas that were born here and the dreams fulfilled. She takes a deep breath. She made the right choice.

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That night, against her better judgment, Donna finds herself wading into a crowded fraternity house behind her new roommate. She truly is tired, and had wanted to settle in for the night an hour ago, but Stella had argued and cajoled and promised her they'd be back within an hour. She wanted to see some friends, she had told her, and she couldn't very well walk alone, could she? " _Not that the campus isn't safe! It totally is, but, you know."_

Donna told Stella she should consider law school for her post graduate plans, if she hadn't already. Stella laughed.

It's not that Donna doesn't love a good party. She does. But, after enough nights spent in a frat house hoping her boyfriend would take a long enough break in between keg stands to notice her, the thrill of college parties had somewhat worn off.

Anyway, she certainly hadn't come to Harvard for the parties. The exact opposite, actually. At least these Ivy Leaguers must hold gatherings that are a bit more intellectual than their UW counterparts, she hopes.

As she walks into the frat, that hope goes to hell.

"Stella, wait for me!" Donna shouts over the music. Her roommate reaches back through the throng of people drinking on the front steps and allows Donna to grasp her hand.

"You're lucky you're cute, or you would be seriously embarrassing me right now." Stella tells her with a smile as she pulls her through the foyer. Someone's bed sheets are hanging off the balcony in a rope, presumably because some idiot already tried to climb down them. The place is packed wall to wall with students, as is the staircase and the upstairs as far as the eye can see.

Donna vaguely considers asking Stella to let her clip their belts together to make sure they aren't separated.

"Come on, this way." Stella leads her into what she presumes is the kitchen. "I'm gonna grab a drink, you want anything?"

"Um, no thanks, I'm good." Donna looks warily at the keg. Tonight is definitely not the night to make a drunken fool of herself. Classes haven't even started yet, and she doesn't need a bad first impression hanging over her head.

Stella shrugs and starts to pour herself a drink. "Okay."

Just then, a loud round of squealing interrupts them. After a minute it becomes clear that a group of girls near the door to the yard is screaming " _Stella_!"

One grabs Donna's lifeline and yanks her outside to catch up, and suddenly Donna is very much alone. Beside a keg. Surrounded by strangers.

This year doesn't seem to be going a whole lot differently than last.

Realizing she's in the war path of people trying to get booze, Donna shuffles off to the side and into another room. She immediately recognizes an intense game of beer pong taking place on the table. Students are cheering wildly from all sides, and Donna is quietly relieved. If she steps against the wall, she can easily blend in and watch the game. It might even be entertaining.

Just as she's working her way toward a spot by the window, one of the players scores, and commences celebrating. He jumps around wildly and knocks heavily into Donna. Donna tries valiantly to maintain her balance, but Beer Pong is not a small guy, and his fans (also jumping up and down) aren't exactly helping the situation. Before she can hit the ground, someone grabs her arm and steadies her.

She turns to thank her savior, but he's not looking at her. He's rolling his eyes at Beer Pong. "Hey, asshole!" He calls. Beer Pong turns around with an expectant look on his face. "Try not to flatten any of the fans, yeah?"

Beer Pong grins and claps him on the back. "You got it!" He slurs. He gives Donna an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

Donna chokes back a laugh at his drunken sincerity. "No worries."

Beer Pong returns to his match, which he is evidently winning. Behind him, his hype man takes his hand off Donna's arm and finally makes eye contact with her. "Sorry about Mick. He's an idiot." He says flatly.

"Well sure, but he's got great aim."

He gives her a disarmingly dimpled smile. "Only when he's hammered."

"That's the only time he needs it." Donna reasons.

Beer Pong and Co. start calling for him to rejoin them, and he gives her another smile and a "Sorry" before disappearing back into the throng of revelry. Donna shakes her head. Why'd she even bother? It's useless to engage a frat boy, Ivy League or otherwise.

Within a couple minutes, Stella appears beside her. "There you are! Sorry, lost you there for a minute."

"It's okay."

"C'mon, let me introduce you to some people."

"Sounds good."

Stella notices her distant expression and rolls her eyes. "And then we can go home."

Donna brightens considerably. "Promise?"

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"Aw, look at my baby! They grow up so fast."

Donna rolls her eyes. "You've known me for four days."

Stella ignores her. "It's your first day of classes! Should I get the camera?"

"I'm leaving now."

"Look at her, so aloof! Already a true Harvard girl."

"Bye!"

"Wait, what's your first class?"

"I already told you."

"I forgot. I know it's at Sever because I walked the route with you yesterday, but I forget who it's with."

"It's _How Television Changed American Elections_ with Professor Raulston. And it starts at nine, so I should really-"

"Oh, he's good. It's 200 level, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, good luck."

"Thanks." Donna opens their front door.

"Be safe!" Stella calls after her. "I left a note in your lunchbox!"

Donna sticks her tongue out before closing the door behind her.

Fifteen minutes later, Donna is happily situated in the front row of her classroom, materials out and waiting for the professor. He strolls in within a few minutes, and gives his assembled class a genial smile.

"Good morning!" He greets.

"Good morning," the class echoes back tiredly. Donna is one of the few to match his enthusiasm.

Professor Raulston shakes his head, amused. "I expected better. Where's the youth, the vigor that your generation is supposed to contain?" He's met, predictably, with a few smiles and numerous blank stares. "Well then. Could someone help me to pass out the syllabi?"

After a few seconds pause, Donna raises her hand. _Why not make a good impression?_ Raulston gives her a grateful smile and passes her a stack of papers.

"Thank you, Ms..."

"Moss," she supplies.

"Ms. Moss. I had hoped to have my TA do such menial tasks for me, but it appears he has yet to grace us with his presence, so..." He trails off as Donna wends her way back to the second row. "Nevermind! If you could all look at the top of the page, I've outlined your reading for the semester. I may add a few articles of interest, or decide to skip a chapter here and there, we'll play it by ear. This should give you a rough idea, however..."

Professor Raulston is a typical looking sixty-something academic, complete with tweed coat and elbow patches. He wears thick coke bottle glasses, though his eyes are sharp and bright behind them. Donna finds herself at ease in his presence, which is a pleasant surprise. She'd looked into his accolades and research, and expected him to be intimidating and hard to relate to.

She's doubly surprised to find that she has no trouble keeping up with his introductory lecture. Admittedly, he's probably taking it easy on them since it's their first day, but still. She takes notes just in case.

"-and that was the nail in Nixon's coffin. He couldn't recover. He was now forever known to the public as old, curmudgeonly, and hostile. Of course we know that he'll bounce back in a few years, in a big way, but that was it in 1960. Now if that debate had been broadcast solely over radio-" Raulston stops abruptly as his classroom door opens. He narrows his eyes as the young man in the doorway gives him a sheepish smile and closes the door behind him. "Joshua," he greets.

"Professor." He takes a few steps inside, hesitating in front of the full classroom. He has his backpack slung over one shoulder and a cup of coffee in hand. "Sorry I'm late."

"Don't be sorry to me, be sorry to them."

"Would you believe that I got lost?"

"Considering you came to this classroom almost every day lay year, I'm going to say no."

Josh gives him another sheepish grin. Donna recognizes him suddenly as the frat boy from her first night. "I overslept."

"At the coffee shop?" Raulston inquires, smiling subtly. He turns to his class before Josh can answer. "Class, this is my TA, Josh. He'll be doing some grading, possibly some teaching this semester. _If_ he can manage to show up on time."

Josh gives them all a wave. "Hi."

From behind her, Donna hears at least one girl call out "Hi" back.

Raulston rolls his eyes. "Sit at my desk, Josh."

"You got it, boss."

Donna watches as he slinks to the front of the room and takes a seat behind the desk. He pulls out a textbook that doesn't appear to be for this class and starts reading. Donna shakes her head in mild disapproval and returns her attention to Professor Raulston, who has resumed his lecture.

Donna manages to forget the presence of the frat-boy-turned-TA until Raulston addresses him again toward the end of the class.

"I generally argue that television has made government work more transparent, but I've recently begun to consider some counterpoints to that narrative. For example, my TA-" Raulston looks expectantly at Josh, who is currently absorbed in taking notes from his textbook. " _Josh_ -" he emphasizes pointedly, finally causing him to look up, "-wrote a very compelling paper last year on the ways that public perception has actually become more shallow."

"Oh yeah." Josh recalls.

"Would you like to speak on that?" Raulston prompts.

"Sure." Josh says easily. "Right, so, a lot of media theory focuses on-"

"Stand up, Josh."

"Right." Josh gets out of his chair and starts to pace the front of the classroom. Raulston moves out of his way, hiding a smile. "A lot of media theory focuses on the way that government action became more visible, and was made to be more interesting to the everyday viewer once television became widespread. But in my research last year, I worked on a theory in which television actually made it easier to divert the public's attention to more cosmetic issues, while keeping them away from the real inner workings of government. It necessitated that stories be dramatic and interesting, which led news media to focus on the sensational stories of the day, instead of long term investigative journalism. Essentially, it made both the media and the average media consumer more stupid."

Donna watches her TA appraisingly. She supposes she'd judged him too harshly. He had to have landed the gig somehow. He's smart, that much is obvious, and there's something appealing about the way he's easily carried away while speaking on something he finds interesting.

 _Still obnoxious as all hell, though,_ she decides.

Raulston folds his arms. "Bold words, my boy."

"No offense, to, ya know, average media consumers like yourself." A couple students chuckle. "It's still possible to be a critical viewer, but the twenty-four hour news cycle has made it harder. Everyone has a shorter attention span these days. They move on too quickly, and forget about things that are still going on."

"Except for yourself, of course, Josh?"

"Of course, Professor."

Raulston laughs and returns to the front of the classroom, effectively dismissing his TA. "Alright. We'll get into more of this throughout the course, I just wanted to give you all a taste. Today was broad view, Wednesday we start in on the small scope. We'll begin with the 1940s. I will see you all then. Class dismissed."

Donna starts to get her things together, smiling to herself. If all of her classes are anything like this one, it's going to be a good semester.

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 **Okay so for all y'all out there who like to fact check me: generally speaking most Harvard undergraduates live in campus housing all four years. But, uhh, I didn't want them to? So let's all just suspend disbelief, as per usual ;)**

 **So, what do you guys think? Seem fun? I'm enjoying writing it. I've got big plans too, that extend this AU like six years into the future lol.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Turns out I love this AU so frickin' much. I'll try not to lose focus on _EDC_ and _Orphan Collective_ , but right now I'm just having way too much fun with this. I hope you guys enjoy it half as much as I do! :)**

 **Thanks for all the reviews on my first chapter! You guys are so sweet.**

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"What about your PoliSci course? Not too bad?"

"No, it's okay," Donna says slowly. "It's 100 level, and a lot of it I knew already. It's pretty basic."

"Well, look at you go, Ms. Prepared."

"Professor's a real prick, though."

"Who?"

"Nielsen."

"Oh, him. Never had him, but I've heard tell." Stella says sympathetically.

"I'll be fine. As long as I can keep up, I won't have to deal with him too much."

"Good strategy."

They walk slowly down one of the paths across the yard, heading in no rush to a late morning cup of coffee. It's Saturday, and they've just finished their first week of classes. Donna doesn't feel too buried right now, but she knows the true avalanche hasn't hit her yet.

It isn't even September, but already she can feel a slight chill in the air. It gets cold early here, just like Wisconsin. It's comforting.

"Oh, God. Hide me." Stella groans, bringing Donna back to the present.

"What?" She follows Stella's gaze to someone a ways up the path, who is stopping passersby with a clipboard. She squints - it's her TA from Raulston's class.

"It's Josh Lyman."

"And, uhh, why do you need me to hide you from him?"

"He hates me." Stella says flatly.

Donna looks at her in surprise. "Seriously? For what?"

"Well." Stella folds her arms, and flashes her a self conscious smile. "Sophomore year we were paired up for this paper in an Anthropology class, and, well..."

"Stella." Donna says scornfully. She can already see where this is going.

"And, well, he ended up doing... You know, all of it." Stella has slowed their pace to practically a snail's crawl.

" _Stella_." She repeats, shaking her head with thinly veiled amusement.

"Look, it was the end of the semester, I was crazy busy, there was a lot going on-"

"Excuses, excuses."

"He wrote a great paper, though. The guy's got some serious work ethic."

"And you got credit?"

"Yeah. He could've ratted me out, but he didn't."

"That was nice of him." Donna says considerately.

"And would you believe it? He wouldn't even accept me sleeping with him as compensation." Stella loops her arm through Donna's, giggling.

Donna narrows her eyes. "You're kidding, right?"

"Mostly. But, all jokes aside, the guy hates me."

Something Stella said earlier catches up with her. "Wait... Is he in your year?"

"Yeah, he's a senior. We haven't had classes since the first two years though, because our majors diverged."

"Right." Donna frowns. "I thought he was a grad student."

"You did?" Stella gives her a sidelong glance. "Wait, how do you know him?"

"He's my TA."

"What, seriously?"

"Seriously. He's Raulston's TA for my section."

"Josh Lyman is TAing?" She snorts decisively. "Now that's gotta be amusing."

"You could say that." They trail off into silence as they near the subject of their conversation.

Josh gives them a wary look as they approach. He rolls his eyes as Stella plasters on a wide smile.

"Hey, Josh!"

"Stella."

"Whatcha doin'?" She inquires cheerfully.

"I'm registering voters."

"Aw, doing your civic duty. How like you!" Stella waves as she practically drags Donna past him.

"Go to hell!" He calls back easily.

"See you there!" She retorts, with all the familiarity of a ritual.

"Wait." Donna tugs her roommate's arm before they can go any further.

Stella gives her a horrified look. "What are you doing?"

"I want to ask him something."

"About what?"

"Voting."

"Can't we, like, go see our nearest precinct chair or something? Anything but this."

Donna laughs. "Wait here, it'll only take a minute."

She bounds back to where Josh is still stationed, shifting back and forth a little. To get his attention, she taps his shoulder forcefully. He turns around, and gives her a look of suspicion.

"Hi." She starts.

"Um, hi." He glances to where Stella is waiting a few yards down the path, avoiding eye contact at all costs. "Back to harass me some more?"

She falters. "No. Actually, I had a question. You said you were registering voters?"

"Yeah." He gives her a once over. "Why?"

"Well, I'm going to be voting absentee this year, and I was wondering-"

"Do I know you?" He interrupts suddenly.

She furrows her brow. She supposes they've only had two classes so far, so it isn't totally out of line that he doesn't recognize her. She has sat in the front row both times, though. "I'm in your class."

"Which one?"

"Professor Raulston's. The class you TA, I mean."

"Right!" He recalls. "Front row girl. With like twelve highlighters."

Evidently, he had noticed her. "Right. That's me."

"And before that?"

She hesitates. "Before...?"

"Before class. There's something else."

And here she thought he would've been too hammered to recall. "The party. I don't remember the name of the frat, but-"

"Yeah! That's it. Mick body slammed you."

She finds herself smiling. "Yeah. Something like that."

"Okay. See, I knew I wasn't making that up."

"You weren't, unfortunately."

He nods enthusiastically. "Right. Okay, so, right. You had a question?"

"Yes." Finally. "I'm registered to vote in Wisconsin, and I was wondering-"

"Wisconsin?" He looks at her critically again, and she tries very hard not to blush. "Yeah, makes sense."

"What's that supposed-"

"So I'm guessing you want to vote absentee this year?" He ignores her.

"Yes. Maybe. I don't know, is it worth it to update my registration and vote here?"

"Probably not. You'll only have one other election here, most likely-" she nods, "-the midterms in '86, so it's not worth it. Especially if you move back to Wisconsin."

"I won't." She interjects forcefully.

He seems surprised by her decisiveness. "Okay. Well, no matter where you move, you can update it then. Probably best to vote absentee this time around."

"Okay. And I can get an absentee ballot by...?"

"You need to request one from the local precinct office. I've got a form, actually-" he starts messing around with the papers on his clipboard. "-right here. You know where the office is?"

"No."

"Well, actually, just bring it back to me. I'll see you in class, right? And then I'll take it in with the rest of these." He holds up the stack of forms.

She smiles, folding the form. "Okay. Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem."

"It's a good thing you're doing here, by the way." She can't help but add.

He smiles, disarmed. For a moment he appears unsure whether she's genuine or not. "Hey, thanks. It's a big year."

"Sure is." She feels a slight temptation to engage him in his thoughts on the election, but he's probably not supposed to reveal his personal affiliation while registering voters. And, she promised Stella she'd be back in a minute. She starts to back toward her roommate.

"I'll see ya."

"See ya."

She returns to Stella, who gives her a reproachful look. "Took you long enough."

"Sorry."

Stella slows down, scrutinizing her roommate. "You're smiling."

"What?"

"You're smiling."

"Um, I'm happy?"

"Why?"

"God, can't a girl just be happy that she's participating in the electoral process? Jeez."

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 _Two weeks later_

"Class dismissed." Professor Raulston starts to step toward the door as the perfunctory cacophony of students packing up commences. He pauses in the doorway. "Oh! Your papers that you turned in last class have been graded. They're in the box outside my office. Have a good day."

The cacophony of packing up takes on an increased fervor as the students clamber to see their grades. Being in the front row, Donna has the good fortune of beating the crowd and slips into the hall before most have left their chairs. She hurries down the hall to Professor Raulston's adjoining office, and leafs through the papers in his box to find her own.

The first thing she sees is a dizzying, burning red _F_ at the top of the page. Her heart stops. She'd put so much effort into this paper. How could this happen? As she processes the shock, she sees that also at the top of the page, hastily written and uncircled (unlike the F) is a B-. She furrows her brow. There's an arrow at the top, pointing from the F to the B-, and something else scribbled in between. She blinks in confusion. _Which one is it?_

Puzzled, she steps into Professor Raulston's doorway. He's currently unpacking his briefcase.

"Excuse me, Professor."

He looks up, and gives her a smile. "Ms. Moss." He's grown familiar with her over the past few weeks, as she always asks good questions and is thoroughly engaged.

"I have a question about my grade-"

"Oh, I can't help you." He cuts her off. "Josh graded those. You'll have to ask him."

She's taken aback. Her precious paper, that she'd spent countless hours on, was read by a TA? And the power drunk son of a bitch had given her an _F_ (at least, possibly)?

"Thank you, Professor." She says tightly, and turns on her heel to march back out into the hall. She makes incredible time in her mad dash from the office to the front lobby, where she catches the subject of her indignation before he can leave the building. "Josh!"

He turns around slowly, and gives her one of those maddening grins - she finds it less charming than ever at present moment. "Oh, hey, Wisconsin."

He also has yet to learn her real name. _Fantastic_. "Hey yourself. I need to ask you something."

"What's up?" He says easily.

She thrusts her paper at him. "This."

He furrows his brow. "Oh. This was your paper?"

"Yes." She tries to keep her voice from trembling. Her paper. Her baby. Ripped to shreds before her very eyes. "You put two grades on it."

"No I didn't." He takes it from her before she can react. "It's a B minus."

She practically melts in relief. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because, bigger and louder than that B minus, you gave me an F."

"Well, yeah." He recalls. "I changed my mind."

"From an F... To a B?"

"B minus." He corrects.

"Well... Why?" She can't help but ask. "What kind of review leads to that big of a jump?"

"I finished it."

"You... What?"

"I was getting tired, the paper was going nowhere, I gave you an F. But when I flipped back to the cover, I saw your name-" so he _does_ know it, "-and I thought to myself, well, hey, she doesn't _seem_ that stupid."

Donna's mouth falls slightly ajar. She fumbles for something to say. "Well, gee, thanks."

"So, I finished the paper."

"...And the conclusion made it jump three letters?"

He shrugs. "Yeah, actually."

"I'm sorry, I'm not-"

"Before that, it was a bunch of seemingly random evidence tied together by the thinnest strand of logic I've ever encountered. You derailed at one point into a completely hypothetical anecdote about a middle class automobile worker and his family."

She feels herself puffing up defensively. "Hey, that was to give a human angle to an otherwise very sterile and unrelatable topic."

"Whatever. It was weird. It rambled. It made no sense." He flips through her paper to the last page. "Until right about here."

She looks on with him. He's circles her last two paragraphs and written _"Finally."_ "Well, of course. That's where I tied it all together."

"Yeah, I know. It all made sense."

"But then, if it made sense... Why did I get a B?"

"B minus." He corrects again. "Because, it only started to make sense on the last page! Jesus, do you know how hard it was to get through this insane trip of a paper? I mean, c'mon, you somehow managed to include both examples from the Gilded Age and a prediction for media in the year 2020. It was more scattered than a madman's manifesto."

She glares at him. "Hey, that's not fair. Maybe if you had an attention span longer than a six year old-"

"Hey, I held out longer than most would've. But someone who isn't paid to read this? Someone reading your policy papers, or your research? They're gonna put it down after page two."

"Or maybe they won't. Maybe my work just requires a higher level of understanding."

"It shouldn't." He says flatly.

She's seething at this point. "If you hated it so much, why not just leave me with the F?"

"I didn't hate it."

"You... What?"

"Once you finally tied it together, I liked what you were saying. You made some good points. Some, like I said, totally irrelevant, but others were good. Unique, too. You took a different angle to everyone else, and I liked it."

"You did?" She asks blankly.

"Yeah. I just wish it hadn't taken me forty five minutes to get there." He hands her back the paper.

She stammers. "Well. I'll, um, work on that."

"Good." He furrows his brow briefly. "You're the one that's friends with Stella McCarthy, yeah?"

"She's my roommate." She says evasively.

"Yeah. Figures."

And just when she'd started to simmer down, too. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I'd expect an acid trip of a paper like that from someone in her crowd."

"Her _crowd_?"

"She's partied her way through all four years of college." He informs her disdainfully.

She stumbles. "And, what, you haven't?"

He seems taken aback. "Uh, no, actually."

"I thought that was your frat's exclusive mission."

He gives her a strange look. "I'm not in a frat."

"You... What?"

"I'm not in a fraternity." He repeats slowly.

"But I thought..." _Huh. Perhaps the whole 'assuming' thing isn't the way to go at Harvard_. It worked at UW. "Why not?"

"Because, I didn't want to party my way through all four years of college." He invokes his earlier line. "I mean, c'mon, it's an Ivy League University. I've got way more important things to do than Greek life. Those guys graduate with a degree in like, keg stands and sexual harassment."

She blinks, thrown. "So that party was a one off?"

"That was before classes even started. Well, it's not like I'm a recluse, I just don't make a hobby of it." He says defensively. "Unlike your roommate."

"You just hate her because she made you write your Anthropology paper."

Josh gives her an affronted look. "Okay, don't say that like it's nothing. That was a seriously good paper, Donnatella."

She won't realize until later what it is about that comment that throws her off. When she does, she'll wonder how it is he knows her full name. "Unlike mine, right?"

He can't help a smile. She finds it slightly less grating this time. "Exactly."

She smiles back, a little. "The next one's going to kick ass, just you wait and see."

"Right. Can't wait to have something to help me fall asleep." He bats back playfully. She's about to respond when his gaze drifts over her shoulder, and becomes immediately apprehensive. "Yikes, gotta go."

She turns around to see what looks like half of her class storming down the hallway, looking worried and upset. "They're headed for you?"

"Almost definitely."

"Let me guess, they got B minuses too?"

"They wish." He starts to head for the door. "You got the highest grade in the class."

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 **Guys I'm so in love with this AU gah I can't help myself. It's so much fun and feels so timely what with August being the 'back to school' month and all ;) Let me know what you think!**

 **Also, remember how I used to ask you guys little questions at the end of Prodigal Son chapters? I'm going to start doing that again, because your answers were just way too much fun.**

 **So: thoughts/feelings/predictions/best movie of summer 2017?**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Somebody stop me. I can't stay away from this story. I hope you guys are enjoying this little foray into the obligatory-college-AU ;) Your reviews have been so kind, thanks for indulging me yet again. Here's chapter three, happy reading!**

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After she'd been accepted to Harvard, Donna knew it was too much to ask her parents to pay for it. Not only was she uprooting herself from their life with practically no warning, she was transferring to a school that cost almost five times the amount of UW. She was able to pay in-state tuition at UW, and she'd won a merit scholarship, so her first year of college cost next to nothing. Harvard was a much different beast.

So, she took out loans. Steep ones. And then she applied for work study. Thankfully, the job she got wasn't too strenuous. She liked working in the library. She worked morning shifts on Tuesdays and Thurdays, evenings on Mondays and Wednesdays, and occasionally an afternoon or evening shift on Saturday. Her favorite spot was behind the help/check out desk, where she could study when things got slow. She also liked the easy access to books - she was the first to know when something she wanted was checked back in, or where to find something helpful for her research assignments.

She even liked the librarians; old, stern ladies who put up with absolutely no one's 11:59 pm desperation, and who brought her muffins when they knew she had a shift.

One Tuesday in September, she is buried in her _Women in English Literature_ reading when a piece of paper lands on the counter.

"Hey could you track these down for me, they're-" Josh stops suddenly as he looks up from his list and she from her book at the same time. His face splits into a grin. "Hey, B minus."

She bookmarks her page and sets her book aside. "And here I was hoping that nickname wouldn't stick." She knows he knows her name. He's said it before.

"S'ashame. You work here?"

"Yes, I do."

"Huh. You're lucky, you got the glamorous on-campus job."

She raises her eyebrows. "Glamorous?"

"Yeah."

"You're right. Between shelving duty and keeping students from having sex in the third floor bathroom, I can barely contain myself. I get chills."

"People have sex in the third floor bathroom?"

"Yeah. Must be something about the way the light bounces off the urinals... Totally romantic." She dead pans.

He laughs. "I'll have to check that out."

A smile bubbles at her lips. "Go for it."

"But, seriously. This job is in high demand. You lucked out."

"Yeah, I know." She admits. "I've got it made."

"Way better than what I've got."

She looks at him in surprise. "You have a job?"

"Yeah."

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I assumed..."

"What?"

"You just seem like the kind of person whose parents could afford this place out of pocket. That's all."

"Oh I am." He admits easily. "Just not the kind of person whose parents are big into giving free rides."

"Ah. The job was a condition?"

"Yeah. Something about earning my education. My dad can give a 'when I was your age' lecture like nobody else."

"A man of principle."

He nods. "I mean, more than half of it is covered by scholarships anyway, but ya know. Still isn't cheap."

She stifles a laugh at how casually he brags this. His cocky nature has started to grow on her. "So, where do you work?"

"Oh no."

"No, what?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Why?"

"Because."

"It's embarrassing?"

"Uh, yeah. You could say that."

She continues to smile. "And why's that?"

"You'll come in and order me around."

"Hey, you're at my job, telling me what to do!"

"I've been here five minutes. I haven't asked you to do anything yet."

"So what's that list for?" She gestures to the list of book titles he'd placed on the counter.

"Um, conversation starters?"

She rolls her eyes. "I meant to ask you, how did you get the TA job?"

"What do you mean?"

"TAs are usually grad students, right?"

"Oh. Well, I took a semester off sophomore year to work for a congressional campaign. I needed to make up some credit hours, and since Professor Raulston knows me pretty well, he offered me the TA thing this year. I get credit, he gets someone to grade papers. Win-win."

"So you don't want to go into academia?"

"God, no."

"Campaigns, then?"

"Yeah." She can't help but notice the way his eyes light up. "At least, mostly. Political strategy. It's campaigning, but it's getting stuff done once you're in office, too. A lot of people forget that part."

"You're a PoliSci major?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, me too." She enthuses.

He furrows his brow. "Aren't you a first year? You don't need to declare yet."

"No, I'm a sophomore."

"But you told me you lived in Wisconsin last year."

"Yeah. I transferred from the University of Wisconsin."

He's brought up short. "Oh."

She shifts uncomfortably. She's already encountered something of a stigma against transfer students here. Students who got in out of high school almost seem to look down on those who needed an extra year to bring up their grades or get the money together. "Yeah."

"Well, uhh, how does Harvard stack up?"

She smiles, relieved the stigma doesn't appear to extend to him. "It's pretty okay."

"Pretty okay?" He repeats incredulously.

She gives a coy shrug. "Yeah, you know. Classes are decent. People are okay. The men are shorter."

"We're... Shorter?"

"Yeah. Back where I come from, we had real men. Farm boys." She purposefully prods him.

He braces his forearms on the counter in front of her and leans in, bringing them closer. She doesn't mind terribly. "Okay, they may be bigger, but about all they're good for is pulling tractors."

She feigns offense. "Classist!"

"Hey, you came for New England."

"You're from around here?"

"Connecticut."

"Huh. Do they have any real men there?" She giggles madly as he glares at her and clenches his jaw. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. And I love Harvard. It's amazing here."

He relaxes with a slight smile. "That's good."

"I really like Raulston's class, actually. I think it might be my favorite this semester."

"Yeah, he's something." Josh agrees. "Any plans for what you want to do with your degree yet?"

"I don't know." She says considerately. "I like the research side. I like policy, legislative work. Campaigning is interesting too, don't get me wrong, but I'm not as into the 'image' side of governing, I guess."

"Hey, me either, but you gotta do what you gotta do to sell people the right thing."

"Because the people selling the wrong thing are just as good at advertising?"

"Right."

She gives him a fond smile. "Tell me you're not a Reagan supporter."

He grins. "What, you're not?"

"Oh, come off it."

"It's morning again in America, Donna."

She laughs. At that moment, a boy who has started a queue behind Josh gives a loud cough. Before she can say anything, Josh whips around and says, "Yeah, she sees you, buddy. Cool it."

Blushing, she takes his list off the counter. "Thanks for that." She says in a low voice after he turns back to her.

"No problem."

"I really should get back to work, though."

"Right."

She starts typing the first title into the search computer. "You have time to stay and find these now?"

He checks his watch. "No, actually. I've got a class in ten minutes."

"That's okay, I'll pull them for you. You can come back and get them later."

"You're the best."

"I know."

"I'll see you later."

"Yeah. See you." She watches as he leaves, and the boy behind him side steps dramatically as if Josh might hit him. She holds back a chuckle. "Can I help who's next?"

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That Saturday, Donna walks back slowly from her shift at the library, trying to figure out the best place to study. She could've stayed at the library, but usually when she stays after her shift, she's badgered with questions by students who'd seen her working earlier in the day. She would go home, but Stella is throwing one of her friends a twenty-first birthday party at the apartment, and Donna doubts the atmosphere will be conducive to getting through her forty page reading for Raulston's class on Monday.

Outside is always an option, even though it's dark. The yard is well lit, and any of the benches might do. It is starting to get cold, though, and all she has is a thin windbreaker.

She passes by a coffee shop with a glowing neon _Open_ sign, and decides to give it a go. She's got a few bucks to spare, and she's tired of dining hall coffee anyway.

She walks in, and upon seeing that no one's at the register, takes a seat at one of the bar stools. She lets her heavy bag fall to her feet with a relieved sigh, and scans the chalk menu overhead for something to warm - and wake - her up.

"You've got to be kidding me." Someone announces, having appeared from the kitchen.

She looks down from the menu and her face immediately lights up. "No way!"

"Are you following me?"

She practically bounces on her stool with delight. "I could ask you the same question. Are you wearing an apron?"

"Okay, B minus-"

" _This_ is your embarrassing job?"

Josh sighs dramatically. "Yes."

"This isn't so embarrassing. Except for, you know, the apron."

"Go ahead. Laugh it up."

"I mean, I guess it's kind of a fall from grace, going from working for a congressional campaign to this, but..."

"It's actually all part of the plan. Getting in touch with the working man, you know, so I can help candidates better relate."

"Uh huh." They share a smile. "Why is it that you're seemingly everywhere on this campus?"

"This is my campus, Donnatella." There it is again. The way he lilts her full name makes it sound almost like an endearment. "I own this place."

"I heard you were captain of the debate team. Is that true?"

He waves a hand. "No."

"Ah. The man, the myth, the legend..."

"I mean, I was. I gave it up this year."

"You were captain of the Harvard debate team in your junior year?"

"Sophomore and junior."

She looks impressed. "And yet here you are in front of me, wearing an apron. I've gotta say, it dispels a lot of the grandeur."

"You should join the debate team. You've got some very interesting verbal skills."

"Thank you." She decides to take that as a compliment.

"So, did you just come in here to harass me, or...?"

"I actually came in for some coffee. This was just a pleasant surprise."

"I see. You know what you want?"

She glances at the prices. "Drip coffee is fine."

"Anything to eat?"

She shakes her head. "No, thanks."

"Okay." He pours her a mug of coffee and slides it across the counter.

"Hey, you didn't ask me if I wanted it to-go."

"Oh, uh-"

"You just assumed I was staying."

He rolls his eyes. "Do you want it-"

"No, thanks." She interrupts, taking a cheerful sip. "I'm staying."

"To harass me?"

"Precisely." She starts to pull out her study materials. "That, and Stella is throwing a party at our apartment."

"Figures."

She decides not to take the bait. "I'm going to study, now."

"Have fun with that."

Ten minutes later, she's chewing the cap of her pen, brow furrowed in deep thought. She practically jolts out of her chair at how close Josh's voice is when he says, "Need some help?"

"You scared me."

"Yeah, I can tell."

"How did you get there?"

"I walked."

"You were just in the kitchen a second ago."

"You're right. I teleported."

She gives him an unamused look. "What did you say?"

"I asked if you needed some help. You've been on that page for five minutes."

"Oh." She glances back down at her textbook. "I'm just a little confused, that's all."

"Okay. By what?" She must be giving him a wary look, because he adds, "I'm your TA. I'm supposed to help you."

"This feels like special treatment."

"The only thing special about it is that you, unlike your classmates, have camped out at my place of work on a Saturday night. It's a little creepy, I'll give you that, but I'll gladly award you some points for dedication."

She considers this. "Okay. The textbook keeps making reference to this theory I've never heard of."

He turns the textbook toward him and starts reading.

"I've tried to pick it up from context clues, but I'm not getting it. Maybe it's somewhere in my Poli 105 textbook, but that's all the way back at the apartment, and..."

"Didn't you take Poli 101?"

"Yeah. At UW."

He smiles as if everything makes sense. "Ah. That explains it. Seems education is lacking up there in the Great White North."

She glares at him. "Here we go again."

"I've heard the temperature makes blood move slower to the brain. And, all that cheese consumption creates-"

"Will you just explain the theory before I pull you over this counter and kick your ass like it's never been kicked?"

"You think that's possible?"

"One thing we're very well versed in up in the Great White North is beating the living day lights out of Northeastern yuppies."

He considers this. "Back to the textbook it is."

He is not, overall, a bad teacher. She has noticed before the way he gets carried away while talking in class, and he does the same even when it's only for her benefit. Within a matter of minutes he's explained the theory itself and all of its practical applications, supplementing his explanation with numerous historical and modern anecdotes. By the end of his explanation, she's not sure there's a professor out there who could've taught it to her better.

A little while later, she's once again immersed in studying when a plate slides into her arm. She looks at it blearily before furrowing her brow at Josh. "What's this?"

"If you eat any more of the free mints, I'm going to have to take them."

"But, I already paid, and-"

"I already closed out the register." He says dismissively. She looks around the shop and realizes that almost all of the booths and tables have been emptied. Only another pair of studying students remains. "This is on the house."

"Am I keeping you from closing?"

"No, we stop selling at eleven but I'm not supposed to kick anyone out until midnight." He watches as she bites her lip indecisively. "Would you just eat the damn scone?"

She picks up the pastry with a small smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He says gruffly.

"You know, you can try to hide it all you want, but you're actually a really nice guy."

He places a hand over his heart, affronted. "Hide it? I don't hide it. I'm publicly nice. I'm nice to everyone. I'm chronically nice, actually, ask anybody."

She shakes her head, happily chewing her scone. "Whatever you say."

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 **So I usually make reference to how Donna was a waitress while in college/after dropping out, but I thought it would be so much more fun to reverse things. Josh working in the service industry is just all kinds of funny to me for some reason lol.**

 **Oh and if you noticed Josh's brief mention of his dad: I'll confirm it. Noah Lyman will 100% make some appearances in this story.**

 **Anyway, thoughts/feelings/predictions/fave show that isn't TWW?**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **P.S. My fave movie this summer is definitely Wonder Woman. I cried five times in the theater the first time and then I went back two more times and cried both of those times too. 10/10 recommend.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey all! This next installment is pretty short, but I like it well enough. Next chapter should be up soon too, and it's a lot of fun ;)**

 **Thanks for all the great feedback!**

 **Oh and to GoBadgers - there's no doubt that UW Madison is an amazing school. Hell, I probably couldn't get in lol. But considering Josh is kind of an elitist, and because Donna is fresh off a hellish year there in this story, they each have their own reasons for dissing it, and even when they do they mostly do it jokingly. No disrespect intended! My bad.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy chapter four!**

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By early October, Donna is spending possibly too much of her already limited free time in the coffee shop where Josh works. The place is called _Luke's_ , but as Josh explained to her, neither the current owner nor the previous one is named Luke, so there's really no reliable explanation for the moniker. Josh also seems to spend quite a bit of time in the library, usually appearing at least once per shift.

She isn't sure whether the tentative friendship they've developed is based on convenience, or something else. It's certainly not convenient on her end - she wouldn't bother spending nearly as much on coffee as she does per week if it weren't for him. He's entertaining, and usually helpful with whatever she's working on (when he's not arguing with her or taunting her). But she wonders if he only associates with her out of convenience - maybe he really does study at the library that much, and maybe he just talks to her as a break to the monotony. They walk together after class, too, but again, he could just have no one better to talk to for those ten minutes.

Come early October, she's starting to wish there's some way she could know. She wishes they could do something that's clearly over the line of _voluntarily spending time together._

He stops at her desk on his way out of the library one morning, which isn't unusual.

"Hey, you watching the debate tonight?"

"Oh yeah, I hope so."

"You hope so?"

"I mean, I want to, but Stella isn't big into politics. If I get too 'excited' she'll probably steal the remote or something, I don't know."

"Damn."

"Yeah."

"Well, hey, come to our debate watch party."

She leans in, intrigued. "'Our'?"

"My roommate Sam and I are hosting. And by Sam and I, I mean Sam. I'll just be there."

She briefly considers whether Sam is a girl's name often enough to warrant her concern. "Who all will be there?"

"Oh, you know. PoliSci majors. A few law students. Some people we volunteer with from the Massachusetts Democratic Party."

"Huh," she says appraisingly. That's a lot of people - it could be a good networking opportunity.

"It's a whole thing. Should be fun though. We get to, you know, yell at the screen at the same time."

"Sounds tempting."

"Here. I'll give you my address." He takes a pen from her desk and then looks around for a piece of paper. She slides him one of the free bookmarks. "Okay... There. See you later?"

She can't contain a smile. "Yeah. Maybe."

That night, Donna finds his apartment, and she can already hear a cacophony of voices before she knocks on the door. When she does, she's surprised to find Josh himself on the other side of it. He looks somewhere between stressed and excited.

He smiles when he sees her. "Oh. Hey."

"Hey yourself. What's wrong with you?"

He leads her inside, and startles her a little by guiding her with a hand on the small of her back. The place isn't huge, but it's packed wall to wall with people talking, eating, and drinking excitedly. She's pretty sure she hears the latest Springsteen album blasting from somewhere. "Debate's starting soon. Also, I hate hosting things. I would never do this of my own volition."

"Sam's idea?"

He rolls his eyes. "He's in full hostess mode. It's terrifying. If he hands you a crab puff, run."

At precisely that moment, one of the most objectively attractive people Donna has ever seen in real life pops up at Josh's shoulder. "Hello there!" He says cheerfully. "I don't think we've met. Josh?"

"Sam, this is Donna. Donna, Sam."

"Nice to meet you." Sam extends a hand.

Bewildered, she accepts it. "Uh, yeah, back at you."

"Here, have a bingo card." She continues to stare at him, bemused, as he hands her a piece of card stock. "It's also a drinking game! Put an empty shot glass on all of the squares. You get bingo, you win free Mondale merch."

"Um, okay."

"Okay! See you later. I'll keep making rounds, ten minutes to go!" He gives them an exhilarated grin and claps Josh on the shoulder before disappearing again.

Josh turns to her with an 'I told you so' look. "It's terrifying, right?"

She ignores him. " _That's_ your roommate?"

"Yeah, that's Sam. Why?"

"He's beautiful!"

"What?"

"He's like, the prettiest person I've ever seen. Man or woman."

Josh laughs. "I'm sure he'll be pleased to hear you think he's 'pretty.'"

She shakes her head. "Wow. Anyway. Drinking game?" She asks eagerly.

"Yeah. The squares are stuff we expect them to do. You know, touting jobs statistics, Reagan laughing weirdly while Mondale answers, the moderator taking longer than thirty seconds to get them to stop talking. You know. Do a shot for every one they do."

"Fun."

"Hopefully we won't have a _reason_ to get super drunk tonight, but in case everything goes down hill..."

"Ah. I'm seeing it now."

"Yeah."

She squints, leaning around someone she doesn't know. "You have a really small TV."

"Oh yeah, this was definitely a terrible idea."

She laughs, trying to cover her nervousness. She admits as she looks around at the crowd, "I don't think I know anyone here." That's her way of saying _please dear god don't leave me._ "Except that guy from my Poli 105 class, but I don't like him. He always cuts off girls in the class during discussions. Never the guys."

"C'mon, I'll introduce you to some people." He leads her to a cluster near the counter. "Hey, everybody. This is Donna Moss, she's from Wisconsin. Definitely feel free to ask her about that. This is Mike, he heads the Get Out the Vote effort for the under 25 demographic in the city... Cindy, she's in operations for municipal elections... and Ron, he's actually in the Mayor's office..."

Donna meets a lot of people that night, and has an amazing time getting to know all of them. She's on her game as far as likability goes; her political commentary finds a place at the table, so to speak, and she even makes more than a few jokes that land well. She's been learning more and more throughout the year how to use her voice, but she's still a little surprised to find herself actually listened to. Last year, her "friend" group left a little to be desired in that regard.

She likes the people there. She enjoys celebrating Mondale's best jabs with them, and groaning in solidarity every time Reagan uses one of his more contrived lines. Josh yelling at the TV is certainly entertaining, too, and occasionally she joins him when something overly outrageous is said. She gets mildly tipsy, and though she doesn't get bingo, she doesn't mind.

The night has a lot of great aspects, not the least of which is that Josh doesn't leave her side, and keeps his hand on her back almost entirely throughout.

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The next morning, Josh is getting ready to leave the apartment for Raulston's class, only mildly hungover, when Sam makes his way out to the kitchen.

"Oh good. I was hoping to catch you before you left."

Josh barely looks up as he roots around for his keys. "What are you doing up?"

"It's after eight, it's not that early."

"You don't have a class until... I don't know, but not for a while."

"I have things to do." Sam says evasively, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I still think Mondale took it, by the way."

"From a media perspective, it was really more of a draw."

"Whatever." Josh holds up his keys triumphantly. "See you later."

"Wait." Sam calls out. A sly smile creeps over his face. "At least tell me how long you've been seeing that girl."

Josh furrows his brow. "What girl?"

"C'mon, don't act stupid. You guys are really cute together, honestly."

"Okay, thanks, but I still don't know what you're talking about."

"What, you're seriously going to pretend you're not together?"

"Considering I'm not seeing anyone, yeah, I think I'll maintain that. Now, who are we talking about?"

"The party last night." Sam says as if this should be obvious. "The blonde girl you were inseparable from? Donna, I think."

"Oh." Josh rolls his eyes. "Sam. I'm not dating her."

"You're not?" Sam can't help but sound a little disappointed.

"No. We're just... Um, friends."

"'Um, friends'?"

"Yeah."

"So you walking her home was not code for you leaving to have sex in her apartment?"

Josh gives his best friend a look. "No, Sam."

Sam shakes his head, and leans back against the counter. "I seriously misread the situation."

"Yeah, seriously."

"Okay, so you're not dating her yet."

"What do you mean _yet_?"

"Well, obviously you like her." The reason Sam had been so excited for Josh last night was that for once, he really seemed to like someone. Whereas Josh's romantic interactions in the past could be characterized with a more general friction (which lasted a few weeks at best before he was bored), last night Sam witnessed something else. He and Donna seemed to actually enjoy each other's company.

"Um, what?" Josh says defensively. "No, I don't."

"Okay, then what was this?" Sam sets down his coffee mug and approaches his best friend, who gives him a wary look.

"What are you doing?"

"Calm down." Sam puts a hand on Josh's back, causing him to look at Sam like he's going off the rails.

"Um, what the hell-"

"You stood beside her, like this, all night."

"I... What?"

"With your hand here."

"I did?"

"Yeah. It was kind of possessive, but it was also kind of sweet."

"I didn't even notice that I was doing that." He mutters. But, now that Sam mentions it, he vaguely recalls doing so. It had felt so natural at the time, he hadn't given it a second thought.

"She didn't seem to mind."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I mind."

"Right." Sam retreats to his abandoned coffee. "All I'm saying is there's obviously something there."

"There's not, okay? There can't be."

"What do you mean, there can't be?"

"I mean, I'm her TA. It's not right."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Huh. Well, that's no big deal. It's not like you're her professor."

"I grade her papers, Sam. It's not..." He struggles to find the right word. "Proper."

Sam tries not to laugh. "Since when do you care about what's 'proper'?"

"Since suddenly it determines whether or not I'd be abusing some sophomore from the Midwest who looks like... That." He says lamely.

Sam smiles knowingly. "You _really_ like her."

"I have to go." Josh says loudly. "See ya, Sam."

"See you!" Sam calls back cheerfully.

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That morning, after class, Donna wends her way to the front of the classroom where Josh is waiting for her as per usual. She gives him a smile.

"Handling that hangover with grace, I see."

"I'm not that hungover."

"Of course not."

"I still say Mondale was the clear winner, by the way."

"You're the only one, pumpkin patch."

"Whatever."

"Hey, thanks for walking me home last night."

"Yeah, of course. Any time."

"Worried about me?"

"Worried about what you'd do to yourself. You were pretty hammered."

" _Me_?"

"Yeah."

"Not even close to you, my friend."

He rolls his eyes. He tries valiantly to ignore Sam's words from that morning. "Hey, you wanna get some food?"

"Huh?"

"I didn't eat this morning, didn't feel great. Obviously. But now I'm starving."

A smile starts to creep across her face. "Me too, actually."

"I could really use some pancakes."

"And bacon. And eggs."

"Now you're talking."

"We're not going to the dining hall, are we?"

"God no. I know a place, c'mon."

"Okay." She agrees. There really was no other answer. Her smile grows when she feels his hand take its place on the small of her back.

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 **Thanks for reading!**

 **We finally got another WW character! I know Sam didn't go to Harvard in the show, but I think you'll find a lot of characters who didn't go to Harvard popping up here...**

 **Thoughts/feelings/predictions/fave song from the 80s that you'd like to see me incorporate in this fic?**

 **Btw, my fave TV shows other than TWW (god there are so many I'm such a TV junkie) are Scrubs, Gilmore Girls, Scandal, House of Cards, Monk, Parks and Rec, The Office, Friends, OITNB, Broad City, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Jane the Virgin, the Newsroom, the Twilight Zone, as of this year GLOW... Guys that's barely scratching the surface lol.**

 **And while we're on the subject: anyone catch my not-so-subtle Gilmore girls reference? ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I told you it'd be up soon ;) Thanks so much for all the great feedback on the last chapter!**

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"-and would you look that man, that hardworking American, in the face and tell him that he and his family are just plum out of luck? Because, I'm sorry, but I don't think I could stand to do that to him. Or to anyone, for that matter."

"And that's enough!" Raulston shouts before Donna can go on, smiling widely. He looks between his two pairs of students. He's had to referee this debate a bit more heavily than the others this class, but that pleases him. At least they're engaged in the activity. "Okay, I think we'll call it here."

The team opposing Donna and her partner, Ben, looks frankly relieved.

"Let's check the applause meter. Who thinks that Mr. Davis and Ms. Jenkins won-" a half-hearted smattering of applause, "-and who thinks that Ms. Moss and Mr. Murphy won?" the class erupts in applause. Donna and Ben share a smile and a high five.

Professor Raulston beams. "And we have a clear winner this go round." He walks over to the losing team, and places a hand on each student's shoulder. "There, there, my pupils. Better luck next time."

Jenna and Randall smile good naturedly, having realized their loss quite some time ago.

"Have a seat, if you will. Ms. Moss, Mr. Murphy, please stay up here. Class, please tell me what it is about their performance that so swayed you - and particularly what aspects of their showmanship would appeal to a wide television audience."

One girl in the back row raises her hand. "They had the best one-liners."

"How right you are, Ms. Lyons! They were quippy. They had the best comebacks. They had the best _zingers_ , which were likely to stick in viewer's minds." His class cringes, and he chuckles. "What, I can't use that word?"

Another students raises his hand. "They also wrapped up their arguments well. They were easy to follow. The other team kinda lost me a bit... No offense."

"Another good point, Mr. Marks! What else?"

"They weren't flustered, or hostile. They kept their cool."

"Very good. It's important in a televised debate to maintain your calm, so you don't risk appearing like your opponent has ruffled your feathers. Both candidates in last week's debate did a good job of that, as did Ms. Moss and Mr. Murphy. Anything else?"

"They used humanizing anecdotes."

"That too! That helps the 'common man' feel represented."

"They didn't use too many statistics. They used enough, but not too many."

"Right, they didn't overload you. What else?"

"Um, they seemed to care. They were really into their answers, you know? It felt like they meant them."

"Yes! Sincerity is key."

"Especially Donna." One girl adds. "She seemed really genuine. And though she occupied the moral high ground pretty much all the time, she didn't seem condescending about it."

"You're right, she threaded that line very carefully."

The girl who just commented points behind the professor with a smile. "Um, I think Ben has something he'd like to add."

Professor Raulston turns around. "Yes, Mr. Murphy? You'd like to comment on your victory?"

The class titters, but Ben just smiles. "Yeah, actually. About Donna being genuine when taking those guys to task... She also looked good while she was doing it."

The class laughs again, and Donna rolls her eyes at him, amused.

Professor Raulston shakes his head, smiling. "A somewhat more shallow observation, but an important one nonetheless. Aesthetics do play a huge part of public perception, a key component of what we've learned so far this semester." He checks his watch. "And that's all for today! Good work, class, and congratulations again, Ms. Moss, Mr. Murphy."

The class clambers for the exit, and Donna makes a beeline for Josh. She practically bounces up and down with excitement.

"Did you see that?"

He grins widely at her enthusiasm. "I did. Congratulations."

She accepts his high five. "I killed it."

"C'mon, I'll buy you a celebratory coffee."

"A latté?"

"Sure."

"With whipped cream?"

"I think I can splurge the extra quarter, yeah." He says, amused.

She reaches out and hits him lightly in the ribcage, rolling her eyes. "Hey, you can't bring me down. I'm on top of the world."

"Right, I'm sorry."

"Let me get my stuff."

She gets her stuff together and they head out the door, Donna still bathed in the glow of her victory.

"And when I slammed him on the pre existing conditions thing? With the statistics?"

He pats her shoulder. "Amazing. Thought you might reach out and yank the guy by his neck tie."

She blushes. "Was I too aggressive?"

"No way. Plus, who wears a neck tie to class every day? I hate that kid."

They're interrupted by someone tapping Donna's shoulder. She turns around to find her debate partner, Ben, smiling at her. He too looks high on their victory.

"Hey, Ben." She greets happily. "What's up? Good work, again, by the way."

"Thanks. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure." She exchanges a look with Josh. "Meet you in five?"

"Sure." He heads for the lobby.

In his absence, Donna turns back to Ben with a smile. They'd met a couple times over the week to prepare for the debate, and while she hadn't really noticed him at first, she'd grown fond of him in their time together. He's smart, and even kind of funny. She's enjoyed working with him, and they certainly make a great team. "Okay, Ben. What's up?"

"Nothing, really. I was just wondering what you were doing this Friday."

She looks away briefly, mentally running through her schedule. "Nothing, I think. I get off work at five, then... Yeah, nothing."

"Well, hey, you wanna get dinner with me?"

Her eyes widen. "Dinner?"

"Yeah. You know, the meal after lunch?"

She laughs nervously. "I'm vaguely familiar with the concept."

"What do you say?"

"I assume this time it won't be for studying?"

"I was actually hoping we'd take a pass on that this time."

She bites her lip, considering. She has no real reason to say no, right? It's not like she's seeing anyone. It wouldn't hurt to give the guy a chance. "Yeah, okay. Dinner sounds fun."

"Great." Ben smiles, relieved. "I'll call and we'll pick a place, okay?"

She nods, knowing he already has her number from their debate prep. "Yeah. Sounds good."

"Alright. See you."

"See you." She watches him walk away before slowly making her way to the lobby to meet Josh. She gives him a distracted smile. "Okay. To my latté."

"What did that guy want?"

"He just thought I might've picked up his notebook by accident when we were practicing."

"Okay." He puts a hand on her back and guides her out the door. "So. Where were we?"

"We were reveling in my victory."

"Right, of course."

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Come Friday night, Donna walks into Luke's around 7:30. She's barely in the door when she hears, "Wow."

She looks up from shaking her umbrella off in the doorway. The dumbfounded look on Josh's face makes her smile. "Well, hello to you too."

He shakes his head. "Sorry. But, wow."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Why are you wearing that?"

"Well, last time I didn't wear anything at all, you guys kicked me out, so..."

He rolls his eyes. "It's cold out."

"You planning on staring at my legs until I leave?"

"Sorry. Um. No." He shakes his head again and gets a mug for her. "Coffee?"

"To-go, please."

He raises an eyebrow at her. "So there is a reason for this ensemble? You're going somewhere?"

"I am." She slips onto a stool, smiling at him expectantly.

"Where are you going?"

"Did I come here for the third degree, or did I come for coffee?"

He starts pouring her coffee. "Donna."

She gives him a weary look as she blows on her coffee. "If you must know... I have a date."

She could be imagining it, but he appears to grow a little more tense. "I should've known."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"So, you can't where weather appropriate clothing on a date?"

"You don't like my dress?" She prompts, knowing the exact opposite is true.

"It's fine for, you know, July."

She rolls her eyes. "Could you leave me alone?"

"Who's the guy?"

"None of your business."

"What, it's not like I know the guy." She looks away self consciously. "I _do_ know the guy?"

"Could you drop it?"

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because! You'll torture him!"

Josh places a hand over his heart. "What makes you think I would do that? I would never."

She gives him a look. "Josh."

"Is it that Ben guy?"

"How could you possibly know that?"

He smirks, triumphant. "I'm intuitive."

"Listen, it's just one date. Let's not make a big deal out of it."

"I thought you were above Harvard men. I thought we were too short."

She smiles, taking a sip of her coffee. "He's plenty tall."

"So am I."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm just saying."

"Could you be more insufferable?"

"So, you like this guy?"

She shrugs. "I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I mean, he seems nice. I don't know him that well. That's why I'm going out with him."

"You're going out with someone you don't like?"

"That's how you get to liking people. You date them, you find out more about them."

"In my experience, that's how you get to not liking people."

"Sounds like a sad experience." She counters.

He shrugs. "It's worked okay for me."

"Don't tell me. You're one of those guys that'll sleep with a woman and then never call?"

He glares at her over the counter. "Since when is this about me?"

"It's not."

"Well, fine."

"Fine." She mutters.

"Why don't you go out with someone you actually like?"

She stammers, trying to find an answer that isn't _because you haven't asked me out yet._ "That's not always an option."

"Where's this guy taking you, anyway?"

"We're meeting at a restaurant at eight. An Italian place a few blocks down. I thought I'd stop in and get something to keep me warm for the last few blocks." She holds up her coffee cup.

"Because you're wearing-"

"Don't start." She warns.

Distracted, he starts wiping down the counter. "I just... I don't see the point."

"In what? Dating?"

"Yeah."

"Um, a possible relationship? Love? Companionship?"

He makes a scoffing sound. "Yeah, okay."

She bristles. "What?"

"I just didn't think you were one of those."

"'One of those'?"

"Yeah."

"One of those what?"

"I don't know, one of those people that's always looking for a relationship."

She balks. "I'm not-"

"You know, one of those people that's looking for validation, or whatever, from someone else."

She gapes at him across the counter, seething. "I... I have to go."

"Have a good time."

"Yeah, you too. Have fun _working_." She spits as she whips out the door.

He watches her leave, cursing himself for his insistent stupidity. As she leaves his line of sight, he groans and rests his forehead on the counter with a thud.

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The bell above the door chimes around ten. Listless, Josh doesn't look up from the textbook he has on his side of the counter. He vaguely registers someone sitting at the counter in front of him, but decides he'll speak when spoken to.

That's when she speaks. "Hi," she says softly.

He looks up from his textbook, beyond surprised. All he can think to say back is, "Um, hi."

"I, um... How's it going?" She asks lamely, resting her chin on one hand. She attempts a weak smile.

"It's, um, good." He stares at her, still shocked she's actually here. "How was your date?"

She sighs. He doesn't seem to be asking with any sort of malice, so she answers honestly. "It was kind of a bust."

"It was?"

"Yeah. I mean, good food and all, but... It just wasn't right. He's nice, but I don't really see anything between us."

"Oh. I'm... I'm sorry."

She waves a hand. "Don't be. It's just one of those things."

 _Ten minutes earlier_

 _"So... This was nice." Donna slows on the street corner, folding her arms._

 _"Very nice." Ben agrees. He senses they don't mean it in the same way._

 _"My, um, my apartment is that way." She gestures vaguely._

 _"You want me to walk you?"_

 _"No, that's okay."_

 _"Oh. Well, I guess this is goodnight?"_

 _"I guess so." She gives him an uncomfortable smile._

 _"Something tells me you're not feeling a kiss goodnight right now?"_

 _She sighs, arms falling to her sides. She puts an apologetic hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Ben. I did have a good time, really, but..."_

 _"It's okay. I understand."_

 _"I really am sorry. You're a great guy."_

 _He waves a hand. "Don't worry about it."_

 _She smiles appreciatively. "Thanks for dinner. Hug?"_

 _"Sure." They share a brief embrace. He starts to walk away, but after a few steps he turns around. "It's him, isn't it?"_

 _Donna looks back, caught off guard. "What?"_

 _"You're not into me - or anyone for that matter - because you're into that guy. Our TA. Josh."_

 _She opens and closes her mouth, trying to find a response. "No. No, of course not. Josh and I are just friends."_

 _Ben gives her a disbelieving look. "Donna. C'mon."_

 _She winces, and scuffs the ground with her shoe defeatedly. "Yeah, okay."_

 _Ben smiles. "Hey, it's okay. Not your fault."_

 _"I really wish I didn't, because it's completely stupid, and nothing's going to happen, probably, so..."_

 _"I wouldn't be so sure. He seems pretty into you."_

 _She looks up, unsure. A slight smile creeps across her face. "You think?"_

 _Ben rolls his eyes. "Yeah. I'll see you, Donna."_

 _"See you, Ben." After a few seconds deliberation, she takes off in the opposite direction of her apartment._

"Well, I'm still sorry. I'm... I'm sorry about earlier."

She smiles, pulling her coat more tightly around her. "That's okay. I'm sorry too."

"I was being a jerk, though. You were just... You weren't doing anything."

She may have been prodding him a little bit. "It's fine, Josh."

"It's not fine. I'm sorry."

She looks up into his earnest, pleading eyes. "It's really okay."

"You, um, want something to drink?"

"I don't know..." She mostly just came in to make amends.

"I'll get you a latté."

She brightens. "With whipped cream?"

"Is there any other kind where you're concerned?"

She rests her arms on the counter, watching him appreciatively. "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"I'm leading some volunteer canvassing." He looks at her over the espresso machine. "Why, you wanna come?"

"I don't know. You need a partner?"

"I'm really quite capable of canvassing by myself."

"You sure? You can be a little... hostile."

He considers this. "Yeah, okay. Maybe I could use you."

"You want me?"

He gives her a smile as he pushes her coffee across the counter. "Yeah. Of course."

"Alright. I'll be there."

"Have I mentioned how nice you look tonight?"

She smirks into her coffee. "No, but now's a good time to start."

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 **(Based a little bit on some of the events in _The Portland Trip_ ).**

 **Anyway! Thanks for reading :) Thoughts/feelings/predictions/favorite holiday (which I might write a chapter for)?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the break! I'm still in love with this AU, I promise. And we'll see about getting an EDC update this weekend, too ;)**

 **I loved all the holidays you guys suggested last chapter! I'll try to incorporate as many as I can. For those who worried that it's too late in the timeline of this story for their holiday, no worries! We've got years and years and years, my friends :)**

 **Without further ado, here's chapter six! Happy reading!**

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"You're in a slump."

"I'm not in a slump." Josh argues, somewhat defeating his point by slumping forward against the check out counter.

She smiles as she checks out his books. "This right here? Slumping."

"Can I get out of here? I've got work to do."

"The election is over, my friend. We're all depressed. But you? You're a special brand of depressed."

"You should see Sam."

"He's worse off?"

"He's been eating raw cookie dough and listening to JFK speeches on cassette for seven nights in a row now."

"Is that why you're in a slump? Sam's keeping you up?"

"I'm not in a slump." He grumbles.

She pulls on his hair, forcing him to look up at her. "I need your ID."

"Right." He stands up off the counter and rifles around for his student ID.

When he hands it to her, something strikes her as odd. It takes her a moment to realize what it is - it's his birth date. It matches the day's date. "Hey! It's your birthday!"

"What?" He gives her a weary look. "Oh, yeah. That."

"What do you mean, _that_? It's your birthday, Josh, why didn't you tell me?" He shrugs. She rolls her eyes and gives him a smile. "Happy birthday."

He nods uncomfortably. "Thanks."

"You're twenty-two. That's big."

"Doesn't feel as big as twenty-one."

"I guess not. What are you doing for it?"

She could be imagining it, but he's looking more uncomfortable by the second. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I'm working later. That's about it."

She wonders for a moment if he's being evasive because he _does_ have big plans for the night, but doesn't want to include her. But she doesn't think that's it. There's something off about him. "You're working on your birthday?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Good a day as any to make money."

"You're not celebrating?"

"No."

"Why?"

He sighs in frustration, shifting from foot to foot. "Because I hate my birthday."

She furrows her brow. "What?"

"I hate my birthday, okay?"

"How could you hate your birthday?"

"I just do, okay? It's not that big a deal. Some people hate Valentine's Day. I hate my birthday. It is what it is."

She stares at him in confusion. "That's not the same thing."

"Sure it is."

"Did you have a really bad birthday once or something?"

"No."

"Okay. Then didn't you celebrate it? You know, associate it with good times?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Didn't your parents make cake, and buy presents, and all that?"

"Of course."

"So then..."

"I just hate my birthday." He says firmly, losing patience. "I have since I turned fifteen, and I doubt I'll ever not hate it, okay? Let it go."

"What happened when you turned fifteen?"

"Nothing."

She sits back, stumped. "I'm not sure what to say."

"Don't say anything. Can I get my ID back?"

She looks down, surprised that it's still in her hand. "Oh, yeah. Sure."

He collects his books from the counter determinedly. "I'll see you later, okay?"

She nods numbly. "Sure."

Later in her shift, she sees Sam walk in, and after getting his attention he approaches her with a bright smile. Since the debate watch party, she and Sam have been friendly to one another, even nearing the territory of friendship. It's hard for them not to, what with all they have in common. Between their idealism, proclivity for trivia, dorky enthusiasm, and mild neuroses, they're something of kindred spirits.

Donna loves talking to Sam, and vice versa, so they always make a point to talk to one another when in the library or passing on the quad. Today, however, casual chit chat isn't what Donna has in mind.

"Hey, Donna."

"Hey, Sam."

"How's your day?"

"Good, yours?"

"Oh, you know. Hanging in there."

"Josh says you're in something of a funk."

Sam snorts. "You could say that."

"Mind if I join your next cookie dough and JFK binge?"

"By all means."

Donna's smile fades, and she bites her lip as she considers how she wants to broach the topic. "Hey, I actually wanted to ask you about something."

"What's up?"

"It's Josh's birthday today."

Sam raises his eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"You didn't know either?"

"No. He's never told me. He-"

"-hates his birthday?"

"You got the whole spiel too?"

"Yeah, a couple hours ago."

"Huh." Sam shakes his head. "I can't believe I finally know his birthday. Three years, he's never told me."

Donna stares at him in disbelief. Evidently, the quirk extends much farther than she'd thought. "Well, I only know because I have to scan his ID."

"Right." Sam nods. "Well, I guess I'll wish him happy birthday. Maybe? I don't know, would he hate that? I'm thinking a gift is probably too much..."

"Listen, do you have any idea what this is about?"

Sam shrugs. "Nope. Just one of those things, I guess. All I got out of him is that ever since he turned fifteen, he hates his birthday."

Donna rests her head on a hand, stumped. "Me too. It's so strange! What happened when he was fifteen?"

Sam looks as nonplussed as she does, but he doesn't seem as bothered by the mystery. He's had three years to get used to it, after all. "No idea. If he'd said he hated his birthday since he was eight, that would've made sense, but fifteen is... Well, nothing that I can think of."

Donna furrows her brow. "What happened when he was eight?"

Sam immediately looks regretful, as if he'd spilled that detail unintentionally. He gives her an uncomfortable smile. "Crap. That's not really my place to say, sorry."

Donna shakes her head. "That's okay."

"Well, listen, sorry I couldn't be of more help. I'm going to start studying, okay? I've got an exam in two hours."

Donna nods, her mind elsewhere. "Of course. See you later."

"See you."

Donna stares off into space, contemplating the strange nature of today's revelations (and lack thereof). Just when she thought she'd figured Josh out, (she'd moved past the frat boy narrative, and then gotten past the obnoxious layer, she'd discovered his obsessive, driven nature, and she'd even learned the slightly more nuanced version of his silver spoon upbringing), another bizarre aspect is added to the picture. The guy is a human enigma. The thought makes her smile. Josh probably thinks he's the least complex person on the planet.

And yet, here she sits, wondering about his strange past. What happened when he was eight? When he was fifteen? _Why does he hate his birthday?_

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That afternoon, after her last class, Donna stops into the coffee shop and takes a seat at what is rapidly becoming "her stool." She waits patiently for Josh to finish ringing someone else up. She gives him a dazzling smile when he turns around.

"Hey." He smiles back, looking slightly caught off guard by her overly eager demeanor.

"Hey." She's already got her wallet in hand. "How's it going?"

"Okay. You?"

"Good."

"Good. What do you want?" He indicates the wallet poised in her hand.

"Can I get an ice cream sundae?"

He gives her a strange look. "A what?"

"An ice cream sundae." She repeats slowly.

"Why?"

"You do sell that, don't you?"

"Well sure, but..."

"I'd like one."

"You always get coffee."

"Can't a girl branch out every once in a while?"

"It's freezing outside."

"Do you harass all of your customers this way?"

He shakes his head, smiling bemusedly. "Whatever. I'll be right back."

A couple of minutes later, he returns with the requested ice cream sundae and sets it down in front of her. "Thanks." Instead of picking up her spoon, she hands him some cash.

"You're paying now?"

"Yeah."

He gives her another strange look, but takes her money to the till anyway. When he returns, she has yet to take a bite of her sundae.

"So, you gonna eat that thing or what?"

She slides the bowl back across the counter with a smile. "Happy birthday."

It takes him a minute to realize what she's doing. When he does, he rolls his eyes, but can't help a smile. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. I tried to get some candles, but I couldn't find them at the convenience store."

He shakes his head, still smiling. "You're really something, you know that?"

She grins. "Thanks."

He procures another spoon from under the counter and hands it to her. "Here."

"No, it's yours."

"C'mon, I don't want all of it. And you paid for it."

"But-"

"Also, you do realize that I just made this for myself, right?"

She pouts and takes the spoon. "I thought it was still a nice gesture."

He chuckles. "It was. I appreciate it."

She rolls her eyes at him and takes a spoonful of ice cream. "I don't care if you hate your birthday. I think the day of your birth still deserves to be commemorated."

"Oh yeah?"

"Everyone's does." She covers quickly. "You're no exception."

He shakes his head, not making eye contact with her. "Yeah, I am."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing."

She watches him suspiciously. She decides not to pry any further. "You know, I might just start getting this more often."

He looks relieved that she's stopped her inquiries. "That's a great idea, as we head into the winter months."

She bumps her spoon against his, and they talk about anything innocuous for ten minutes while they eat. When he turns around to take the bowl back to the kitchen, she says softly, "You don't have to tell me."

He doesn't turn around, but as he leaves she can just see his features softening into a smile.

She studies peacefully in the shop for a few hours, with occassional conversation with Josh punctuating her French homework. She doesn't notice that the place has been slowly emptying out until Josh starts speaking, breaking a long stretch of silence.

"So, I had a sister."

"Hm?" She looks up, confused. Had she heard him right? "You have a sister?"

"No. Yes. I mean," he sighs. "Yes, I _had_ a sister."

She furrows her brow. "Had?"

"Yeah. She died when I was eight."

She feels taken aback. She'd told him he didn't need to tell her anything. She'd thought the issue had been resolved. Why is he telling her now? This is what Sam had referred to earlier, she realizes.

She watches Josh carefully. His hands are braced on the counter, and he's not quite looking at her, but he looks determined to get through whatever it is he has to say. Her heart breaks for him, as she can see the pain he's managed to keep a lid on all day boiling to the surface. "Oh, Josh. I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't be. It was forever ago."

It still doesn't explained the birthday thing, but it does explain some things about him - a certain maladjustment and relestness that didn't seem right for someone who's supposedly lived such a normal life. "Still. That's horrible."

"She died in a fire."

"Oh my god."

"I, um. I was there too. She was babysitting me. And I made it out, right?"

"Wow."

"I lived, and... She died. She was fourteen."

The gears in her brain start turning. This is starting to come together for her, and she hates where it's going. Uncontrollably, her eyes start to well up, but it doesn't matter because he's still not looking at her. "Josh..."

"I guess I handled it okay for the first few years. I got in fights at school, I got a lot quieter, I grew up some, but that's expected, you know? I was okay. But that's because I had this weird sort of internal bargain going."

"Josh, stop." She interrupts thickly. She wipes her eyes on a sleeve. Finally, he looks up at her, and he seems surprised to find she's reacting at all. He'd preferred to imagine it like he was talking to a blank wall. "Stop, you don't have to tell me. I'm serious."

"I just didn't want you to think I was crazy." He says sheepishly. "I wanted to explain."

"I don't think you're crazy."

"The whole birthday thing, I didn't want you to think..."

"Don't." She shakes her head. "It's okay. Really."

He frowns, his brow knitting in thought. "But, I want to tell you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I want you to know."

"Are you sure?"

He tries to give a nonchalant shrug. "I'm halfway there, aren't I?"

"Josh..."

"I'm sure."

She folds her arms, and nods. "Only if you want to."

"Hey, you're low." He gestures to her coffee cup. "More?"

"Could you stop trying to make this normal?"

"Sorry."

"No, don't be..." She smiles, shaking her head again. "God, don't be sorry."

"Am I freaking you out right now?" He pours her more coffee.

"No, you're... You're fine. I'm just... Surprised."

"Right."

"But you can keep talking, if you want to. A part of me is dying to know. But if you don't-"

"Donna?"

"Hm?"

"Shut up."

That makes her smile again. "Okay. Sorry."

"Okay." He takes a deep breath. "You probably already guessed this part, but I had decided I was going to die by the time I was fourteen."

She nods numbly. "Sounds... Rational."

He smiles dryly, glad they've added at least a degree of levity to the situation. "I know it sounds crazy, but I was a kid, and I guess that's just how I rationalized it. My older sister died, and I lived, but that was because I'd only get as much time as she did."

"No, it makes sense." She agrees. "And being older than your older sibling ever was... Hell, I can't imagine that."

He nods sadly. "Exactly."

"So on your fifteenth birthday..."

"Right. So it's not like I had a plan or anything, I just thought God would probably strike me down before I turned fifteen."

"Right."

"And, he didn't. I didn't do anything drastic, you know, though I briefly considered flinging myself off a bridge or something."

She stifles a gasp of surprise at how casually he says this. "Josh."

"I was fifteen and over dramatic, okay? But I didn't. I just skipped school, and sulked, and made things generally terrible for my parents until they figured out what was going on, and... You get it."

"I'm glad you didn't fling yourself off a bridge." She feels the need to say.

He smiles. "Thanks."

"You bet."

"But, ever since then... It's just a day that reminds me that I've had one more year that I shouldn't have had, you know? Every year is one more that I don't deserve. That she should've had."

"Josh..." She's starting to cry again.

"And I know it's crazy. Rationally, I know that. But it's just how it is. I can't shake it. So, generally, I try to avoid the day altogether. But, since you had the misfortune of finding out..."

"Josh, no."

"You're getting the whole crazy run down. So I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Sh grabs a napkin to wipe her eyes, because her sleeves are getting seriously damp. "I'm sorry I pried."

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's been seven years, I think it's time I told someone, you know?" He doesn't tell her that it isn't just by chance that he's telling her. She's already shown a strange proclivity for understanding him. She anticipates what he's going to say before he says it, she will guess a quality of his before he's even had the chance to exhibit it. He likes that about them - their closeness, the way they seem to always operate on the same wavelength. He can't bear the thought of their being any misunderstanding between them, which might drive them apart and ruin their dynamic.

He'd needed to tell _her,_ and only her.

"Would it mean anything for me to tell you that I'm beyond glad that you've had these past seven years? And that I think you deserve, like, a hell of a lot more?"

"Yeah. It means something."

She smiles slightly. "But you still hate your birthday, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"That's okay. I'm glad you told me why."

"No offense, but... Why do you care? Why did you care about my birthday this morning?" _Why do you care about me?_ he refrains from adding.

She seems surprised by the question. "Well, because I..."

"I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised." He amends. "You care about everything. From people you've never met, to like, bugs, so..."

She smiles, recalling the time she'd forbidden him to kill a bug in his apartment, and had instead trapped it under a cup to carry back outside. "You're more than a bug to me, Josh."

"Hey, if you cared about me as much as you cared about that bug, I'd be happy." He jokes.

"I just want you to be happy, that's all." She answers his earlier question. "Because you deserve it."

He smiles. "Thanks."

"What was your sister's name?"

"Joanie."

"That's pretty."

"I think she'd like you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. She wouldn't let me kill bugs, either." _And she wanted me to be happy, too._

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 **So basically I've had this head canon about Josh and his birthday for forever, and I've always been trying to find a story to work it into it. If it pops up in some other stories in various ways, I'm sorry for the redundancy, but I really like this headcanon. You can expect to see it a little in EDC, as I've got a Josh/Toby scene planned where they talk about what it's like to have lost their siblings :)**

 **I hope you guys liked this chapter! I know it's kind of out of nowhere, but I wanted to show that in this AU, Josh and Donna have that same immediate closeness and bond of understanding between them that they had in the show. I've also got a plot point planned for Josh's birthday one year later (playing some serious long ball, much like my inspiration Aaron Sorkin lol).**

 **Thoughts/feelings/predictions/best 80s movie?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Gah I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update this story! Sometimes life just hits you with a 2x4, ya know? Anyhow, I've missed you guys like crazy, and I'll try not to stay away so long next time.**

 **To make up for the long hiatus, I've got a fair bit of drama for you in this chapter - some good, some bad. It'll definitely propel us forward, that's for sure. And since we were afforded some insight into Josh's background last chapter, I felt it only fair we get a dose of Donna's.**

 **Thank you guys so much for your continued support and feedback, it means the world to me.**

 **TW: implied abuse**

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When Donna walks into class one brisk November morning, she's surprised to find Josh already there. It's not unusual for him to slink into class a couple minutes after the lecture has started. As she approaches him, she notices that he looks somewhat nervous.

"Hey. You're early."

"Five minutes before class starts isn't early."

"It is for you."

"Fair enough." He mutters distractedly. He glances down at the desk, which is strewn with papers, highlighted and annotated. "I'm teaching today."

"You're what?"

"Professor Raulston's daughter went into labor yesterday. He's going down to Virginia to meet his granddaughter."

Donna melts. "Aw, that's so sweet! I'm so happy for him. He's going to make a great grandfather."

"Donna."

"What?"

"You're missing the key part of this information."

"What?" She asks blankly.

"I have to _teach the class_."

"Oh." She starts to smile. "You'll be fine."

"Donna."

"You're in kind of a twist about this, aren't you?"

"I am a terrible teacher."

"No you're not."

"I'm sure that I am. I mean, it's not like I've done it before, but it's been pointed out to me many times over that I'm not the world's greatest communicator. Or the world's most... Patient."

She chokes on a laugh, and he gives her a totally unamused look. "Well, there might be some truth to that, but you're not a bad teacher. You explain stuff to me all the time, and it always helps."

"Really?" He clings to her words like a drowning man might to a life vest. The classroom is starting to fill up.

She tries not to laugh again. "Really." She could also mention that he's incredibly charismatic and captivating, but she thinks now might not be the best time to confess this to him.

"If this goes poorly, can you stage a cardiac episode or something?"

She smiles, and puts one hand on his arm. "You'll be fine." With that, she moves to take her usual seat at the front of the classroom, excited to see how this develops.

After the shuffling has died down, Josh clears his throat awkwardly. He paces the front of the classroom, carried by even more nervous energy than he usually has. He claps his hands together a couple times and gives the class a furtive smile. Donna forces herself not to laugh, completely amused by the spectacle of Josh, usually so cocky and confident, visibly nervous.

He catches her strangled laugh and sends her a distracted glare. She attempts to get herself under control and gives him a thumbs up.

"Okay. So. Um." He comes to a halt in the center of the floor. "Professor Raulston isn't here today, obviously. His daughter is giving birth. Or, I don't know, she could be done by now. Anyway. He's a grandfather."

Some students 'aww' in much the same way Donna had.

"Right. So, you're stuck with me today." Donna can practically sense the class leaning forward in anticipation. Raulston is a tried and true lecturer, and a good one at that, but Josh is far more unpredictable. Their Wednesday has just gotten more interesting. "We'll be talking about the mass media coverage of Watergate and the disintegration of public trust."

The class continues to watch him expectantly. He starts to fidget. He's melting, Donna can tell.

"Right. Um." He glances longingly back to his notes on the desk. If he goes back to read from them, Donna swears she'll start heckling. "So, Tricky Dick." The class titters, and Josh's mouth twitches into a smile. "Incidentally also what they called my freshman year roommate, poor guy." The class laughs more whole heartedly this time, and Donna rolls her eyes. Josh starts to loosen up, remembering this is something he's good at: entertaining.

"Anyway. Our guy Nixon certainly earned his nickname, he was a tricky bastard. Now I know we were all pretty young when the scandal broke - this is where Raulston would've been helpful-" another laugh, "but, how many of you have seen _All the President's Men_?"

Most of the class raises their hands.

"Great. That's where we're starting. I'll give a little background on Nixon's actions as we go, but if you've done your reading for the week, you should be pretty much set. Our focus is on the media coverage, after all, not the actual scandal. So in 1973, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein..." He glances back toward the blackboard, where Raulston traditionally has Josh scrawl out some notes, and his eyes light up. "Hey, Donna, take some notes for me, would you?"

She gives him a look of amused indignation. "Excuse me?"

"Please. I meant, you know, please." He turns pleading eyes to her.

She gets out of her chair with a sigh. "I'm the Josh to your Raulston?"

"Precisely. We're both admittedly lacking in some areas, but-" She hits him with her shoulder on her way past him, making him smile and pretend to stumble. She picks up a piece of chalk and starts to take notes for him. "Like I was saying, in 1973, Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward of the Washington Post..." He turns around to check her progress. "God, your handwriting is terrible, you know that?"

A piece of chalk hits him squarely in the forehead. Needless to say, he has no trouble at all keeping the class entertained for the next hour.

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"I had them at my feet, Donna."

"Yes, yes, we've been over this. You were great, they were awestruck, can we move on?"

"I thought you invited me over tonight to celebrate my victory?"

"And to help plan your next substitute lecture so it isn't quite so _off the cuff,_ but, yes, I did." A mug of coffee appears at his shoulder, dangled over the back of the sofa. "I just wasn't aware the celebrating would involve so much recapping."

" _At my feet_ , Donna."

She smiles. "I know."

He puffs up self importantly as she sinks onto the couch beside him, her hands wrapped around her own mug of coffee. "And you were, you know, pretty good too."

"Gee, thanks." They'd bickered enough that by the time class ended, Ben Murphy muttered " _get a room_ " to Donna with a wink as he slipped out of the classroom. It had made her cheeks grow warm, but not in an altogether unpleasant way, and she smiled as she looked over at Josh, who was fielding questions from a handful of girls who'd been _oh so interested_ in his lecture.

"We make a pretty good team."

"It really shouldn't have been a team effort, given that it's _your job_ , but-"

He places his hand over his heart. "Low blow, Donnatella."

She smiles. "But, you're right. We do make a good team."

He smiles back. "Okay. What are we doing?"

"Well." Her eyes light up. "Class today kind of made me crave _All the President's Men._ What do you think?"

"A movie? You sure know how to live it up."

"It's either this or we jump straight into lesson prep."

"You have the tape?"

"One of the precious few I brought with me."

"Bring it on." He acquiesces. "I never say no to a good political thriller."

"I figured as much." She gets up to find the tape and put it in the VHS player. Josh watches her, taking in her flannel pajamas, warm socks, and fluffy cardigan.

"By the way, you look..." He trails off, eyes lit with amusement.

She turns around with a slight frown. "It's cold."

"I'm aware."

She returns to the couch and hits his arm as the movie starts playing. "In fact..." She grabs a blanket off the back of the couch and spreads it over both of their laps. "There."

"Um, thanks?"

She takes in his expression. "Don't tell me you're emasculated by a _blanket_."

"I wasn't cold."

"You're lying."

"I'm not-"

" _Men_." She says scornfully, shaking her head. "This is why you have shorter life expectancies. All your damn pride."

He bites back a laugh and takes a sip of his coffee. "Okay."

"I might talk during the movie. If that's okay."

"I can't exactly do much to stop you, can I?"

"Probably not."

"It's okay. I've been told I'm a little loud during movies, too."

"You? Loud? I would've never thought."

He pinches her shin, as her legs are curled up next to him, which makes her squirm and smile. "I'm not about to find out that you've got a thing for Robert Redford, am I?"

"Dustin Hoffman, actually."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I wouldn't have guessed."

"Why?"

"I don't know. He's pretty short, and you've shown some sensitivity to that in the past."

She smiles. "Only to bug you."

"But _I'm_ not short."

"See? Got you again."

They spend most of the movie in conversation, and are a little surprised at how quickly it goes by. Over the course of the film they've drifted closer together, one of her legs in his lap and their shoulders pressed decidedly again at each other. Overtop of the blanket, they both still hold onto their coffee mugs, but she balances hers on his arm, her fingers just grazing his skin.

As the credits roll, they both slowly realize that their position has become more than just friendly, and their activities more than just celebratory. Tension creeps into the room, each wondering who will be the first to break it.

It's Donna. "So, um, that lesson plan."

"Oh god, are we still doing that?"

"Buck up. It's only eleven." She tilts forward and places her coffee cup on the table, as does he. To her surprise, when they lean back, they resume their exact same position, minus the coffee cups. This means her hand rests simply on his arm, and both of them stare at it curiously for a moment. She blushes, wondering if she should apologize or remove it. But then, she's halfway in his lap, so her hand isn't even the most offensive part of this.

"So, um. To work, then?" He turns to look at her, his eyes warm and hesitant.

"Right." She sounds breathless. How did that happen?

"Right." He echoes softly. Neither of them move. That is, until he slowly, daringly shifts his hand from its place in his lap to on top of hers. She freezes. Does this mean what she thinks it means?

But then he gently starts to thread his fingers through hers, and she eagerly allows it, and this _definitely_ means what she thinks. She inhales sharply, surprised but endlessly pleased. She feels a smile start to creep across her face, and she bravely makes eye contact with him. He's smiling slightly, too. He looks almost shy, which makes her heart flutter. She never thought she'd see the day Josh Lyman looked _shy_.

But then she loses sight of him as his eyes close, and reflexively hers do too. She feels his lips gently brush hers, and she thinks resoundingly, _this is it_.

Except it isn't. Because someone is pounding on the door.

They jump apart as if they'd been electrically shocked. She looks around blearily. The banging continues. Josh gives her a hazy, confused look, and she shrugs. "Maybe Stella forgot her keys, I'll-"

Awkwardly she maneuvers past him to get to the front door, and throws it open with a glare she hopes says _Stella, you have the worst possible timing on God's green earth and tomorrow I'm going to kick your ass like it's never been kicked._ She finds herself face to face with the last person she'd expected.

The ghost of last year barges into her apartment without asking. "Donna. I'm sorry I didn't call. I didn't know if you would've wanted to see me, I just... I had to see you. I got your address from your sister, it was on a post card on her fridge, I was in her kitchen asking her about..." He trails off, looking around in confusion. His eyes land on Josh, and narrow considerably. "Who's he?"

Josh stares at him, and then at Donna. "Who am _I_? Who are you?"

Donna is paralyzed. She feels her hands start to shake. All she can manage is to breathe out, " _Roy_."

"Donna?" He says hopefully.

She had hoped she'd never see him again. But then, that had been naïve. "What are you doing here?" She says, barely above a whisper. She feels dizzy.

"I need to talk to you. Jesus, Donna, you don't get to ask me that. What are _you_ doing here? You up and left without any warning. Without a goodbye. Without so much as..." He trails off in a labored sigh. "Seriously, who is this guy?"

Josh looks less indignant than before, and more uncertain. He turns his gaze to Donna, brow furrowed, waiting for her to explain.

Her mouth feels dry. How has the best case scenario for tonight turned into the worst, and so quickly? "This is, um, this is Josh, Roy." She runs a hand over her face. "He's, um, he's a friend."

Josh's gaze hardens.

Roy gives him a suspicious look. "I'm Roy. Her boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend, Jesus, Roy, it's been-"

"Says who? Nobody bothered to tell me."

"I tried to tell you, I tried and-"

Roy holds up a hand to cut her off, and Donna appears almost to shrink away. He turns to Josh. "Listen, man, you should probably go. We've got a few things to talk about, obviously."

Josh stares at him incredulously. He casts a glance at Donna, who can't seem to make eye contact. Her arms are folded tight to her body. Something feels off. He's never seen her this way, so timid and overwhelmed. Though he supposes if she'd truly wronged this guy as he said, she might have a reason to be ashamed. Maybe he doesn't know her that well, after all. He sits forward uncertainly. "Donna... Do you want me to go?"

His question only serves to throw her further. No, she doesn't want him to go. Of course she doesn't. But she doesn't want him to have to stay here and deal with Roy's reaction, either. She has no idea what he must be thinking. She feels irrationally embarrassed. She's suddenly too much drama; she's the girl who ran away from her past life and couldn't even bother to get her last boyfriend squared away before taking off for bigger and better things.

He doesn't deserve this, she realizes with a sinking feeling. "I..."

"Donna." Roy urges. "We need to talk. Just talk." He adds, his tone softening.

She looks down, her eyes starting to water. "Josh, you should go."

He clenches his jaw. "Okay. I'll see you."

She doesn't say anything. He closes the door behind him, and as he takes off into the cold night he wonders with an uneasy feeling how he could've misjudged her so seriously.

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 **Gah I'm so sorry! I pinky swear things won't be bad for long.**

 **Thoughts/feelings/predictions/best late night snack (asking for a friend)?**

 **P.S. Loved all your 80s movie picks! My favorite 80s film has to be Stand By Me.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm back! I tried to keep the break shorter this time, because I know I left you guys in a bad spot last chapter. Hopefully this makes up for it! Thanks for all the feedback and support, love you guys :)**

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Two days pass without hearing from Donna. Josh tries not to think about Monday night too much, but he's obsessive by nature, and given the strange series of events, he can't help himself. He avoids the library, and she seems to be avoiding the diner, yet he can't keep her from his mind.

He wonders about the past she'd been hiding from him. He wonders what exactly had transpired in her year at UW that made her so keen to move several states away and start anew. He wonders whether she truly had up and abandoned her ex boyfriend without so much as goodbye. But mostly, he's ashamed to admit, he wonders what would've happened if Roy hadn't interrupted them.

He chastises himself for such thoughts. Obviously she's got a lot going on right now, and he doesn't want to get in the middle of that. He tells himself how stupid he'd been to entertain the idea of the two of them in the first place. She's flighty, and strange, and after all, she's still one of his students - technically.

By the time he heads to Raulston's classroom on Wednesday morning, he dreads seeing her. He knows there will be a vast chasm of awkwardness between them, and the thought of not being able to turn to her during lecture is crushing. She was the only thing that got him through the last one.

Raulston had called to let him know that he would be returning to campus that morning, but wouldn't be back until after class. Josh had vainly attempted to work on his lesson plan, but every time he did so it just bummed him out. He supposes he'll just have to go off the cuff.

When he arrives, Donna is already there in her usual front row seat. She casts a harried glance at him, expression nervous, but he looks away. She buries her nose in her textbook.

An hour of excruciating lecture and avoided eye contact later, he finds himself fielding questions from his usual gaggle of dedicated students. Or, as Donna had fondly termed them, "the Lyman hoes." He notices Donna hanging back, waiting for him to finish, and his heart starts to pick up speed.

When his last student leaves, she seizes her moment. "Josh. Let me explain."

He starts out the door, and throws her what he hopes is a nonchalant smile. "Explain what?"

She frowns. "What happened Monday night. I know it was, well, a little chaotic, and..."

"No need to explain." He says dismissively. He isn't altering his pace for her today, so she's struggling to keep up with him as he walks down the hall. "It's your business. It's complicated, I get it. You don't have to tell me."

"But I want to tell you!" She exclaims in frustration, flinging her arms outward in incredulity. He narrows his eyes, staring at her wrist. "Please, slow down!"

He stops abruptly. "Donna..."

"What happened was wrong, okay? I kicked you out and it was wrong. But I didn't know what else to do." Her tone begs him to understand. "You have to believe me, I never thought I'd see him again, and what happened between us was messy, and-"

"Donna, what happened to your arm?"

"What?" She blinks at him, confused.

"Your arm." His eyes full of concern, he reaches out a hand toward her. There's a bruise on her forearm.

"What?" She repeats. "Oh, that?" She tugs her sleeves down hastily, and blinks a few more times. She throws on a smile. "That's nothing. I hit it on the doorframe."

He squints at her, disbelieving. "Okay..."

"Josh, I'm serious." She crosses her arms. "What happened on Monday wasn't okay, and I want to fix it. I don't want things to get weird between us."

He straightens up. "Why would they?"

"Because..."

"Donna, it's fine." He says tiredly. "It is what it is."

Her lip starts to tremble. "I tried to end things with him before I left."

"Tried?"

She sighs, flicking a strand of hair out of her face. "It's... Complicated."

His gaze hardens. "Okay."

"No, I mean-"

His expression stops her mid sentence. His eyes widen as he looks over her shoulder, watching Roy bear down upon them from the other end of the hallway. He reaches them in what seems to be no time at all. "Donna."

Josh notices her expression change the way it had on Monday. She looks suddenly tense. Afraid. She gapes at him. "Roy, what are you doing here?"

"I woke up and you were gone." Josh's stomach turns. Had they slept together?

"I had class. You said you were leaving today." She says irritably. "Why haven't you?"

"You left without saying goodbye." He says in a low voice. "Funny how you have a habit of doing that."

She looks away from him. "I'm in the middle of something, Roy, could you give me a minute?"

Roy finally spares a glance at Josh. "This guy again? What is it with you and him?"

"None of your business." She snaps. "How did you even find me?"

"You have your class schedule and a campus map on the fridge, Donna." He says scathingly, a smile twisting his lips. "Always practical."

"Please, Roy. Five minutes, and then I'll come say goodbye."

His face darkens. "No. We're leaving." He grabs her arm, and suddenly it all clicks into place.

His hand closes over the bruise on her wrist, and Josh sees red.

"Don't touch her." With a confidence he'd previously never thought possible when standing in front of a wild eyed six-foot-four Wisconsin native, Josh pushes himself in between Donna and Roy and shoves Roy's arm away from her.

Roy recoils, more from shock than anything else. He stares at Josh, incredulous. He seems to grow in height, looming over him as he regains his composure. "What did you just say to me?"

Josh can feel his heartbeat accelerating. His fight or flight is kicking in, and flight definitely has the upper hand, but he's determined not to let it win. He juts his chin out. "I said, don't touch her."

From behind him, he feels Donna's hand rest timidly on his shoulder. "Josh," she says softly, "You don't have to do this."

Roy ignores her. "And who's going to stop me, Ivy League?"

"I'm not really sure how that's an insult." Josh manages to say, surprised that his sarcasm is still intact given how absolutely terrified he is.

"Listen here, jackass, you don't know anything about us. You can't just waltz in and decide-"

"Josh?" A bewildered voice breaks through the tension. "What on earth is going on here?"

All three of them turn to find Professor Raulston, still in his coat and hat, standing stricken before them. Raulston looks between them, his student hunched timidly behind his TA, his TA standing as a bulwark before a man who could obviously take him in a fight, and the stranger, who is looming not three inches from his practically trembling TA.

"Professor," Josh starts, desperately trying to keep his voice steady, "could you possibly call campus security?"

"Of course." Raulston hurries back down the hallway from the direction he came.

"Security?" Roy repeats darkly.

Donna recognizes the look in Roy's eyes with a feeling of sinking panic. "Roy, don't-"

"Yeah, security, you asshole, I'm not going to let-" and with that, Josh crumples, having been punched squarely in the face. "Fuck!"

Donna gasps, and drops to her knees beside him. "Oh god, Josh!"

Roy reaches for her, but is stopped by the arrival of two campus police officers, trailed closely by a panting Professor Raulston. The officers make quick work of restraining and removing Roy, who spits expletives as he's dragged from the building.

In his wake, Josh looks around blearily. He has hot, searing pain on the left side of his head and a headache starting behind his eye. He hears the mild panic around him, but feels a strange distance between himself and the rest of the world.

"Josh? Josh, are you okay?" Donna is kneeling beside him, her clear blue eyes wide in concern. That's what brings him back.

"Fine." He mutters wearily. He takes his time standing up, holding on to her hand and bringing her up with him. Once standing, he steadies himself against the wall and attempts to give her a serious look, despite his swelling eye. "Donna..."

"Josh, you should sit down." She says breathlessly. "You could have a concussion, you could..."

He grips her hand. "Donna. Are you okay?"

"Me?" She says blearily. "I'm fine, Josh, what are you-"

"Donna." He cuts her off softly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He watches sadly as she looks around a few times, as if she might be able to find a way out of this question. Her eyes slowly pool with tears. "I... I have to go."

"No, Donna, I didn't mean..." He allows her to remove her hand from his grasp. "I'm sorry, I..."

"No." She chokes out. "You're fine, I just... Get some ice on that. I have to go."

He stares as she flees the scene, hastily wiping her eyes and pulling on her coat. In her wake, Josh adjusts to his shock, confusion, and rapidly bruising face. His eye throbs unhelpfully.

Raulston gives him a sympathetic look. "C'mon, my boy. Let's get you some ice."

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Sam hardly looks up as Josh blows into the apartment that afternoon. He's sprawled on the couch, notebooks spread around him but his eyes on the TV. "Hey, MSNBC has a good segment on drug laws, do you-"

"I have work in fifteen minutes." Josh mutters. "Just came by to grab my Con Law textbook."

Sam looks up, catching something off in his friend's tone. Josh hurries past him, trying to keep his head down. "Josh," he calls out.

Josh hesitates, but doesn't turn around. "Yeah?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Huh?"

"Come back in here for a second."

"I really don't have a lot of time..."

"Just for a second."

Reluctantly, Josh trudges back into the living room and turns to face Sam defiantly. Sam gasps. "Okay, there, are you happy? Now I have to go."

" _What the hell_?" Sam sits forward on the couch, dislodging a notebook. "Hold on, hold on. What happened to your face?"

"Um."

"Did someone hit you?"

"Um."

"Josh." Sam says sternly.

Josh exhales in frustration. "Okay, yes, it's possible - _possible_ \- that someone hit me in the face this morning. But it's not a big deal, okay, mom? Nothing is broken, I iced it, I'm fine."

"Okay." Sam says slowly, amusement creeping into his voice. "But who in the hell hit you? Were you in a fight? Walk me through this."

"A crazed Midwesterner hit me."

"And why would that be?" Sam furrows his brow, further confused. "And, what in god's name was he doing here in the first place?"

"I never said it was a guy, Sam, don't be sexist." Sam simply raises his eyebrows, and Josh sighs dramatically again. "Okay, it's possible - _possible_ \- that the guy who punched me in the face this morning was Donna Moss's ex-boyfriend."

Josh frowns as Sam's jaw drops and his eyes widen. "Oh my god!"

"It's not what you think."

"Oh my god!"

"Calm down! It's just... It's nothing. He's an asshole, he showed up out of nowhere, he was grabbing her, and I-"

"And you stepped in?"

"Stop looking at me like that! It's what anyone would've done."

Sam smiles knowingly. "That's really very heroic of you, Josh."

Josh tries not to look pleased with himself. "Shut up."

"You're really in it, now."

"In what?"

Sam continues to smirk, and reclines back on the sofa. "Oh, Josh."

"Stop smiling!"

"Tell me, did you get any hits in?"

Josh rolls his eyes. "I have to go."

He disappears down the hallway, followed by Sam's laughter.

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That evening, Josh is minding the diner through a lull while attempting to study Con Law behind the counter. It's not going so well, but it can't be blamed on the multitasking - he studies at work all the time. No, his distraction is mostly due to the events of the day. Even though his adrenaline had long since crashed, he still feels on edge and restless. It's no surprise that his head jolts up at the sound of bells above the door - it's been happening all throughout his shift, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't hoping to see her every time.

She shuffles to her usual stool, unusually quiet and kept. She gives him a weary smile, propping her elbows on the counter. By way of a greeting, she says, "You look terrible."

He smiles slightly. "Gee, thanks." His boss had said something similar upon arrival, mumbling that he wished he'd called out of his shift because he didn't want a "hoodlum looking little punk" as the face of his business for the evening.

"No, it's kinda cool. You know, rugged and all that."

"Hm, really?"

She mock whispers, "I won't tell anyone you collapsed without getting any hits in."

He rolls his eyes at her. "He sucker punched me!"

She shakes her head, smile fading. "You're right, I'm sorry."

He clears his throat uncomfortably. "You, uh, want some coffee?"

She nods tightly. "Please."

She shrugs out of her coat as he pours her a mug. Once he places it in front of her, she fidgets with it nervously. "Josh, I, um-"

"Donna, it's okay."

"I want to thank you." She looks up at him with wide eyes. "What you did this morning, it was, well, sweet, and brave, you know-"

He shakes his head, even as he smiles slightly. "It's what anyone would've done."

Evidently, she's not finished. "-and I wanted to apologize."

He tilts his head. "For what?"

"For what?" She repeats incredulously. "Well, I, first of all, I never finished apologizing for the other night, and then, this morning, I ran off, and-"

"Slow down." He interrupts gently, noticing her becoming more and more flustered. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, okay?"

"Yes, I do!" She protests adamantly.

"No, you don't." He argues, equally forceful. "I shouldn't have pried this morning, after what happened. And, I was being a jerk earlier this week, okay? It wasn't my place." He lowers his eyes. "I'm just glad you're okay."

She bites her lip. "I should've told you."

"It's really okay."

"I _want_ to tell you."

"You don't have to."

"Josh." She says firmly. "Remember your birthday?"

His forehead scrunches in confusion. "Yeah, but-"

"This is like that. I want to tell you, okay?"

He relaxes slightly. "Okay," he allows.

"Okay," she echoes. She swallows, and looks down at her hands. Now that she's here, she's unsure where to start. "We started dating my first month at UW."

"Wow."

"Yeah, it was fast. But he was a senior, and I was just a lowly freshmen, and I thought him choosing me was this big thing, you know? I thought I was... Special." She smiles and shakes her head, feeling stupid.

Josh refrains from saying anything, but he thinks that if he had any friends picking up freshmen, he'd probably see it as predatory. He feels suddenly doubly ashamed for his attraction to her, because a year can't possibly make that much of a difference. _Can it?_

"At the time, I was really insecure and feeling a little lost, you know? I was new there, I didn't know what I wanted to do, I was overwhelmed. In hindsight, I can see that he took advantage of that." She refuses to make eye contact, still embarrassed by her past self. "I poured all of my energy into him. He was it for me. But then, in late November, he broke up with me."

Josh furrows his brow. "Seriously?" The guy that had just practically stalked her to her new location had once broken up with her? He supposes the relationship is more complicated and disturbed than he'd like to imagine, but still.

"Seriously." His reaction makes her smile slightly. "It was a wake up call, you know? This wasn't what I wanted to be doing, or who I wanted to be doing it with. I was in the wrong environment. It was a great school, but I was falling into some bad patterns. I was becoming someone I didn't want to be, just an insecure high schooler all over again."

Understanding starts to dawn on him. "So you applied to Harvard."

She smiles. "Bingo."

"And you got in."

"I did," she acknowledges, a little proudly. "But by the time I got my acceptance letter... Well, I'd already gotten back together with Roy."

He should've seen that coming, but somehow it's still a blow. "God."

"I know. It was stupid, it was... A lot of things. But he made it feel like such a big deal, you know? Like it was huge for him to take me back. He lorded that over me for... God, for the rest of our relationship."

Josh doesn't know how else to say it except, "That's fucked up, Donna."

"Yeah." She agrees. Her voice is softer now. "At that point we were really off balance. He started putting this idea in my head of dropping out to put him through med school, and... I was really close to doing it."

Even though Josh knows how this story ends, he still finds himself tensing up. "What happened?"

"I, um, I was in a car accident." She confesses.

Ironically, Josh is the one who appears to have whiplash. " _What_?"

"I was in a car accident. On my way back from my parent's house."

"You were in an _accident_?" He repeats, voice full of concern. "Seriously, Donna, you were in a car accident?"

She can't help but smile a little at the way his eyes fill with tenderness and concern, even though it's months later and she's obviously fine. "It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't like I had a near death experience and realized he was awful, or anything. I just sprained my ankle, and they took me to the hospital."

"Oh god, Donna." He swallows, trying to get himself together. He realizes that though he likes to think he and Donna have grown close over the past few months, he really doesn't know that much about her. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thank you." She smiles again. "Anyway, I called him to ask him to come pick me up from the hospital, and on the way he stopped and met some friends of his for a beer."

"He stopped... For a beer."

"Yes."

"On the way to the hospital."

"Yes."

Josh feels his blood boiling in much the same way that it had when faced with the man in question earlier that day. "What in god's name-"

"That was the last weekend in April."

Josh's fury is halted momentarily as he tries to figure out what the significance of this is. "The last weekend in..."

"It was the weekend before decision day."

His eyes widen. "So come May first..."

"I committed to transferring to Harvard."

"Wow."

"I broke up with him, then, but... You've met him. You know how hard it is for him to take no for an answer." Her voice takes on a darker quality, and Josh's heart sinks.

"Donna..."

"So when the summer ended, and he still wouldn't leave me alone, I just... Left. I got out of there, and until this week, I didn't look back."

His gaze is soft in sympathy. "Oh god, Donna."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"Please." He shakes his head. "I'm amazed you're telling me at all."

"I wanted you to know."

"You should know that... I'm glad you're here. I'm glad that guy's out of your life. And I'm sorry you ever had to deal with that asshole. You're worth so much more than that, you know that, right?" He stares at her, slightly apprehensive, over the counter.

Her eyes start to well up again. "Thank you, Josh."

"You belong here, Donna."

She gives him a misty smile. "I'm certainly starting to think so."

He clears his throat. "I should've, uh, stayed on Monday night."

She blinks, confused. "I told you to go."

"I know, but, I should've read the situation and stuck it out. I knew something was wrong, I just..."

"It's okay, Josh." She assures him. "Stella was home not long after you left, and trust me, she kept him in check." She looks briefly amused. "...mostly." Her smile fades.

He shifts anxiously. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." She waves a hand. "And, for the record... He slept on the couch."

Josh tenses slightly. "Oh, that's, uh... That's none of my business."

She frowns. After everything that had happened, is that pretense still there? They'd nearly kissed, are they still going to ignore this? _Shouldn't_ it be his business who she's sleeping with? Maybe he doesn't know where he stands with her anymore. She knows things have changed in the past few days, but she wants to nip this in the bud. They're not going backward, not if she can help it. If anything, his display this morning had affirmed how deeply she felt for him. He's caring, and sweet, and strong, and she can't possibly be expected to hide from her feelings for him after all of this.

"Hey, Josh."

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember a month or so back, when I came in here on that night I had a date with Ben?"

His expression darkens considerably. "Yeah, why?"

"Do you remember how you asked me why I didn't go out with someone I actually like?"

"Um, sure?"

"Well I've got an answer for you."

"It's a little late, but-"

"It's because you haven't asked me out yet."

He looks floored. For a moment, she fears she's made a grave mistake. Maybe she's been reading him wrong this entire time. Maybe he truly considers her just a friend, or even less, and that night in her apartment had been a fluke. Maybe he would've taken the hook up, but anything beyond that was out of the question. Her face starts to heat up and her heart hammers, because, _oh god, what if everything I thought was wrong?_ But then he smiles.

A slow, huge grin spreads across his face. He shakes his head slightly, grinning profusely, as if he can't believe what's happening. "I've been waiting."

She blinks. "Waiting?" She repeats, somewhat breathless.

"Waiting for the semester to end." He clarifies.

"Oh." She says, still not following.

He rolls his eyes. "I'm your TA, Donna! God, why does nobody else take this seriously?"

"That's... A problem?"

"I grade your papers, Donna! Yes, it's a problem. What if somebody thought... What if... I don't want..."

She starts to smile too, realizing what he's saying. He doesn't want to take advantage of her, and he doesn't want anyone to question whether she'd earned her grade. "That's really very sweet."

He's annoyed by how much she sounds like Sam. "Stop."

"It is!"

"Whatever."

She grins broadly. "So, waiting, huh?"

He can't help but smile again, too. "It's been killing me."

She tries not to squirm with delight. "Waiting," she repeats slowly, savoring the word. "I can work with that."

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 **Yay, we're finally getting somewhere! These next few chapters should be fun ;)**

 **A few notes:**

 **1) Those of you who've read my other works know that I absolutely love making everyone's favorite bark-not-bite Connecticut yuppie get into fights. But I think the only thing I like more than having him hit people /for Donna/ is having him take a hit? It's somehow doubly sweet**

 **(btw look forward to some fistfights in EDC, I wasn't kidding when I put those in the summary ;)**

 **2) I've written strong survivor!Donna a few different ways and that's because survivors everywhere react differently to their abusers and to their triggers, and the same survivor might react differently at different time intervals depending on where she/he is in their journey. I hope to represent a few of these diverse patterns, but at the end of the day, everyone is different.**

 **Anyway, hope you guys are having a great holiday season! Hopefully my holiday _Orphan Dinners_ chapter will be up soon. I've been working on it since the dawn of time and it keeps sprouting new plot lines every time I go back to it, so we'll see :)**

 **Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thoughts/feelings/predictions/best gift you've ever gotten?**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey guys! I've got the next little piece of this for you. It's heavily fluffy and mostly transitional, but I think you'll like it ;)**

 **Thanks for all the feedback!**

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"Oh my god! Look at this one! It's so beautiful."

"Will that even fit in your apartment?" Josh says skeptically.

Donna lovingly strokes the branches of the towering frasier fir. "But it's so pretty."

"You're only going to have this tree for, what, two weeks before you go back home?"

She pouts. "Two weeks in the important window of Christmas spirit."

"We agreed. We agreed on the way over here. You want one of those little Charlie Brown trees that you can move yourself and that your decorations will fill up, so you don't have to buy new ones."

She leans in to him cajolingly. Secretly, she finds it immeasurably cute that they bicker like a couple before they've even been out on a date. "But then I saw this..."

"Why did you even bring me?"

"I need your help deciding! Stella has a study session, and I couldn't very well come all the way out here alone."

He sighs. "Of course not."

"So. Do you like it?"

"Donna, I don't know anything about Christmas trees."

"That's what makes it better! This is your first experience picking out a Christmas tree, you should get the one that speaks to you."

"Speaks to me?" He repeats, a smile creeping onto his face.

"Yeah."

"I'm not sure if this whole experience has been culturally insensitive or not."

She elbows him gently in the ribs. "C'mon. Don't you like it?"

"It's not going in my house."

"You're completely unhelpful."

"I thought you knew this going in."

She bites her lip, unable to help a smile. "Yeah. I did."

One of the proprietors of the tree lot appears as though by forest magic from the many branches around them. "Hey there, folks. Find one you like?"

" _I_ did," she says at the same time that Josh says, " _She_ did."

The man smiles, and rubs his hands together, likely to ward off frostbite. "She's a beauty, yeah? She's fifty five."

Josh's jaw drops. "Seriously?"

Donna elbows him again. "Josh. Be polite."

"For a _tree_?"

"It's not unreasonable for one of this size, you just wouldn't know."

"No, I just haven't been socialized into this manufactured market, which is taking all of you for fools and setting artificially high price points."

"I really wish you would stop going to college."

"It's like the diamond industry, you know?"

"Josh."

"Like Big Christmas." He mutters.

Donna smiles apologetically at the salesman. "I'll take it."

Josh gapes at her. "Donna. That's like two shifts for you."

She shrugs self consciously. "So? I think it's worth it."

"Let me chip in."

"You've made it abundantly clear that this is not going in your house, and you couldn't care less about it."

"Yeah, but I care if you bleed yourself dry buying a damn tree."

"That's really very sweet, but I'm fine." She assures him, a hand on his arm.

Taking pity on the poor college students, the salesman offers them a small smile. "You know what, folks? For you, I'll make it thirty five."

Donna immediately frowns. "Oh, no, no-"

"Please, little lady. Twenty bucks isn't going to make or break me. You love this tree, you should have it."

"Thank you, but I can pay full-"

"Nonsense." He waves his hand. "It's done."

Josh looks at Donna imploringly, encouraging her to take the deal. She relents with a grateful smile. "Thank you."

The man accepts her payment and tucks it into his back pocket. "So, how are we getting this thing home? Your car is in the lot?"

Josh and Donna exchange a look. "Um, actually, we walked."

"Walked? From Harvard's campus?"

"Yeah."

"That's forty-five minutes."

They exchange another look. She'd persuaded him to walk here with her after class, not really knowing the distance (only that she'd seen it in passing on a bus ride), and they'd bickered and bantered over one thing or another until suddenly they were here, in what seemed to be no time at all.

"We were maybe going to take the bus back...?"

"You can't fit this on the bus."

"Not this monster, no." Josh mutters.

The man shakes his head, muting another smile. "And what was the plan, making your boyfriend here lug it home?"

Donna hesitates, but Josh just smiles. "I think that was exactly her plan."

Donna blushes, but he can tell by her eyes that she's pleased.

"Alright, that's okay. I can take you, in my truck."

"Thank you."

Ten minutes later, they find themselves squished together in the seat of the man's truck, which has no heating and a radio tuned loudly to the Christmas station. Feeling a little bad for putting him through such circumstances, Donna tenderly brushes a few snowflakes from the mild flurry outside from Josh's hair. He smiles slightly.

"I told you to wear a hat."

"Yeah, because yours is so attractive."

She snorts softly and leans down against his shoulder, huddling for warmth. Josh finds that despite the fact that if anyone had described an afternoon like this to him, he would've thought it to be hellish, he's having a great time. He usually is when he's with her. Even though their relationship isn't all that he wants it to be yet, as he rests his cheek against her dorky pink beanie, he can't deny that he's never been quite so content.

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"So if we just turn the lights on... And voila!"

"Wow, it's like Christmas vomited in here."

Stella lets herself into the apartment to be greeted by the sound of gentle laughter and conversation. She looks around in awe at the fully set up and decorated Christmas tree. "Hey..."

"You're the one that went overboard with the tinsel."

"That part looks great."

"It all looks great."

Josh clinks his mug against Donna's. "I'll toast to that."

"Ahem." Stella announces herself more adamantly, finally causing Josh and Donna to turn around. "I see you elves have been busy."

Her roommate regards with a concerned expression. "Stella, hey! I thought you wouldn't be home until six."

"It's 6:15."

"Shit." Josh says, and downs the contents of his mug.

"You've got somewhere to be, Dean's List?"

"Work."

"I didn't notice the time, I would've said something." Donna says apologetically.

"It's okay, neither did I."

"Uh huh." Stella says, mostly to herself. They've gone back to not really noticing her.

"Thanks for the help with the tree." Donna says sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

He rolls his eyes. "Of course. You'd better spend every waking moment looking at that thing, the effort I put into it."

"I'll even sleep out here." She mimes crossing her heart. "You wanna borrow my hat?"

He smiles as she trails him to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Donnatella."

"Maybe I'll swing by the diner tonight."

His eyes light up at the prospect. "Okay. If the weather isn't too bad."

"I'll be fine. I've got my hat, after all."

"Right. See you."

"Yeah." She squeezes his hand and watches him leave with a dreamy smile. She might've stayed at the door, staring after him with the same starry eyed expression had Stella not coughed loudly a few seconds later. Donna turns around, a slight crease between her eyebrows. "Hm?"

Stella looks at her with a growing smirk. "Okay. Give it up."

"What?"

"You and him! He's over here all the time, or you're over there, and I'm rarely around to witness it, but now that I have... Wow."

"Wow what?"

"You're sleeping with him, right?"

Donna balks at the accusation. "What? No, of course not, he's my TA."

"So? Been there before, it's not that weird."

"We're just friends right now."

"Right now?" Stella inquires.

"We're..." Donna trails off, a fresh smile blooming on her face. "Waiting." She seems to savor the word, just as she's been savoring the wait.

"...until marriage?" Stella asks, confused.

"No." Donna says dismissively. "Until the end of the semester, of course. Then it won't be a conflict of interest anymore."

"Oh." Stella says, looking contemplative. "So... You've discussed it?"

"We have." Donna says primly, sinking onto the couch beside her roommate.

"Well that's... Mature."

"Thank you."

"I mean, it's good, because the sexual tension is practically suffocating."

Donna shrugs, looking rather pleased. "I know, right?" She says with a slight sigh in her voice. "Things are going... Really well. The anticipation is half the fun."

"So after the semester it's, what, dating?"

"Yeah."

"Sure you can't just skip straight to screwing his brains out?"

Donna snorts. "We hadn't discussed the option, but..."

"Because that's where you two appear to be heading. Honestly, do yourselves a favor. Do the world a favor."

"Stop." Donna scolds, though she appears amused. "I want to date him first. I mean, I feel like I know him so well already, but I want to do this the right way, you know? It's gone poorly for me in the past, relationships that start that way."

"But it's not starting that way. You said it yourself, you already know him. Hell, you guys are practically joined at the hip."

"I don't know. I just... Don't want to mess this up."

"I've gotta say, this sounds a lot like L-O-V-E territory."

Donna gapes at her. "What?"

"You guys are so careful, so considered. You're obviously invested in this thing, and you don't seem capable of getting sick of each other."

"Stella, don't jinx it! We haven't even been on a date yet." The concept of something so serious terrifies her. She'd been fighting her own tendency to leap without looking (especially where love is concerned) for the better part of a year, and she doesn't want to undo all of that work by going into this blindly.

But, now that she's thinking about it, she's hard pressed to find another word for how she feels about Josh. 'Like' doesn't really cover it.

"You've been on loads of dates, it's just that none of them ended in the bedroom."

"Stella."

Stella holds up her hands. "Okay, okay!" She sinks back against the couch cushions, contemplative once more. "It really is strange, seeing him like this."

Donna looks over at her, confused. "Like what?"

"The way he is with you." Stella clarifies. "God, ask most anyone who knows him, and they'll tell you they never pegged Josh Lyman as the 'couple' kind of guy."

Donna snorts. "Yeah, well, neither did I."

"He's more the 'drunkenly hook up with someone and then be the world's worst boyfriend for two weeks' kind of guy. He was always too busy, too absorbed, prioritizing or whatever. But with you... It's different. It's weird."

"Well, we'll see. The actual couple part might be a bit of a challenge for him." Donna says, refusing to let go of her doubts.

"Oh please, you guys are already three-fourths of the way there. The way he looks at you..."

"Can you please just let me be cynical and hesitant about this?"

Stella conceals a smile. "Okay, doll. Whatever you want."

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Donna walks out of her _How Television Changed American Elections_ final (her last one) with a smile on her face, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders in more ways than one. She practically hums as she idles down the hallway. _The only chance for mistake is the second essay question, where..._

"Hey." Josh jogs to catch up with her.

Donna turns to look at him with a surprised but delighted smile. "Hey. Don't you have to stay and proctor until everyone is done?"

"I've got a few minutes." He says dismissively. "How do you think it went?"

"Great! Fill in the blank I've got in the bag, I'm only a little worried about my examples for the second essay question, I don't think I illustrated the connection to the prompt clearly enough, so-"

"As interested as I am in listening to a play by play of your exam, can we put that on hold for a second?"

She frowns, pretending to consider. "And why's that?"

"Donna."

He looks at her, and because she can see the same anticipation in his eyes that she feels, she can't help but break into a smile. "I know. It's over."

"I officially have no more influence over your grade."

"You sure?"

"Positive. I'm not allowed anywhere near the finals."

She snaps her fingers as though disappointed. "And I was just about to drop to my knees."

"That's not funny."

"I meant to beg, get your mind out of the gutter."

"Oh."

She grins. "I didn't mean to beg."

"Donna..."

"I mean, it could be construed as begging, sure, but it wouldn't exactly be verbal-"

"Donna." He interrupts with laughter in his voice. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Oh." She lifts a hand to her chin, once again feigning contemplation. "Not much, you?"

"Well, I've got my Con Law final after this, but then I'm clear."

"I see."

"So, I don't know, I'll probably go out with Sam to celebrate. Get fucked up, all that. I'll see you in a month or so, yeah?"

She falters. "Josh."

He grins. "I'm kidding! God. We're going out tonight, obviously."

"Obviously?"

"Obviously."

"Aren't you going to, I don't know, ask me out or something?"

"Oh." He stops short. "Okay, sure. Hey, Donna, go out with me tonight."

"You didn't phrase it as a question."

"That's because I'm not asking."

She bites her lip. "In that case, no."

"C'mon. It'll be fun."

"What are we doing?"

He shrugs evasively. "You'll see."

"You've had a month to plan this, and you still don't have any idea, do you?"

"Okay, princess, it's not like you've been on the front of my mind."

She chokes on a laugh. "Of course not."

He rolls his eyes at her, his hand finding the small of her back easily. "I have plans, okay? It's a surprise."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll pick you up at seven."

"What should I wear?"

He looks her up and down, taking in her exam outfit of mostly sweats and an oversized windbreaker. "That'll work."

She shoves him. "Seriously."

"You know, casual, I guess."

"You're really not very helpful."

"I thought you knew this going in."

"I did."

"I'll see you then, okay?"

"I still haven't said yes."

He shakes his head at her, and turns to head back to the classroom. "Seven o'clock, Moss."

She watches him until he turns off the hall, and allows herself to squirm briefly in excitement. Today's the day. Her finals are over, the stress is gone, and all she has to worry about is tonight.

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Donna pulls out her key to let herself into the apartment, still distracted and happy. She's confused at first when she realizes the door is already unlocked. Stella has a final right now, though maybe she'd forgotten to lock it? She pushes inside.

" _Surprise!_ "

Donna startles at the loud noise, and looks around blearily. In front of her, her mother, father, and older sister stand with huge smiles on their faces. "Oh my god! Mom, Dad, Ava, what are you... What are you doing here?"

They continue to beam, and one by one line up to hug the startled sophomore. Her mother gets there first. "We came to surprise you! I know we said we wouldn't be able to come down and get you until Saturday, but we managed to get away! Isn't that great?"

Donna licks her lips, her mouth feeling slightly dry. Numbly, she embraces each member of her family. "Great. Yeah, of course. I'm just so surprised."

"I hope you don't mind, Stella let us in."

"Of course not."

"Now, I was thinking we could get lunch and then get on the road. I'm afraid neither of your brothers could make it, so the heavy lifting is on your dad and us girls, but..."

"That's okay." Donna breaks away from her family. "I, um, I have to make a phone call. Quickly. To cancel something. Sorry."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd have to cancel plans on our account."

"That's okay." Donna says, attempting to smile at her mother. It's hard to mask the disappointment. "It's nothing."

She tries to slink away to the kitchen to make the call, and her sister leans in conspiratorially. "Last day of exams party, huh?"

Donna smiles distractedly. "Something like that."

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Josh returns home from his Con Law exam in a remarkably good mood. He'd admittedly been a little distracted during the first part of the exam, but he had pulled it together. He's studied for it enough that it didn't get away from him, even if he couldn't stop thinking about tonight. He's now free to do so, uninhibited.

He goes into the kitchen to eat something, because despite Donna and Sam's consistent scolding, he'd skipped breakfast that morning out of fear of being late. He notices the light on the answering machine blinking, so he presses play. He listens to one message from his parents about being mindful of the road conditions on his way home tomorrow, fixing a sandwich as he listens. He pauses with his knife in the jam jar as the second message starts, and he hears Donna's anxious voice filling the room.

" _Hey, it's me. I'm really, really sorry, but I have to cancel tonight._ " She really does sound regretful, he notes. His stomach starts to sink. " _My family showed up unexpectedly to surprise me, we're going to start home in a couple hours."_ She pauses to sigh. " _I really am sorry. I had no idea. This totally sucks, because I don't even get to see you to say goodbye, and suddenly we're waiting another month, and..._ " He can see the pained frown on her face, and his heart twinges. " _Anyway. I'm sorry. Hope your Con Law went okay. You can call me at home over the break, if you want, the number is..."_

He grabs his keys and shrugs on the coat he'd only taken off a few minutes prior. He tugs on his shoes and is out the door in fifteen seconds, hoping desperately that he's not too late.

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By two pm, the Mosses are almost ready to ship out. They'd returned from lunch and packed up the majority of her belongings. Her parents then went out to warm up the car, leaving Donna and her sister with the last suitcase and her backpack. Donna's sister Ava is just heading out the front door, the backpack slung over her shoulder, when she runs headlong into someone.

"Ow!"

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry." Josh grabs the woman's shoulders to keep her from falling down, as he'd barreled into her with quite a bit of force.

Ava blinks up at him in confusion, striking blue eyes like her sister's looking at him appraisingly from beneath a fringe of bangs. "Um."

"Josh." Donna sounds surprised, but mostly relieved.

Once she's reoriented herself, Ava turns around to stare at her little sister, a question in her eyes that Donna ignores for the time being.

Josh grins at her over Ava's head. "Good. I didn't miss you."

"By this much, Lyman." She holds up her forefinger and thumb a fraction of an inch apart, unable to keep her smile at bay. Ava coughs and Donna seems to suddenly remember her presence. "Oh. This is my sister, Ava. Ava, this is Josh."

Josh nods at her distractedly. "Hi."

"Hi." Ava echoes, shooting her sister an impressed look.

Josh clears his throat. "Can we, um...?"

"Yeah." Donna grabs his wrist and starts down the hallway to her room. "Ava, I'll be back in a minute, okay?"

"A minute. Sure."

Donna pulls him into her room and closes the door behind them. She beams at him. "You came."

"Yeah, of course. Wasn't sure I'd get here in time, but..."

"I'm really sorry about tonight."

"It's not your fault."

She sighs. "I know, but... Still."

"Yeah."

"I'll miss you this month."

"Yeah. Me too." He licks his lips nervously. He didn't really have a plan when he came over here, but now that he's here, he knows he can't just let her go. He can't leave things the way they are.

He gently lifts one hand to the side of her face, his thumb running across her cheekbone. She falters, staring at him intently. He moves a little closer to her and her eyelids flutter shut. He takes this as permission to finally do what he'd wanted to do ever since they'd been interrupted last month. Before that, even.

He kisses her, softly at first. He presses his lips to hers with a gentle pressure, but before long she reaches up and balls his shirt in her hands, pulling him closer to her. She parts her lips invitingly, and in a moment, the kiss has gone from innocent to heated.

When they pull away a minute later, she looks at him hazily. He smiles at her, at her cloudy eyes and swollen lips.

She looks down for a moment. "This is, um, not what I thought I'd be wearing when this happened."

He laughs. She hadn't changed out of her sweats and windbreaker ensemble. "Really? It's exactly how I pictured it."

That elicits a grin from her. "So you've pictured it, huh?"

"Don't look at me like that."

She wraps her arms fully around his waist, pulling them flush against one another. "At least we know that part works."

"You ever doubted me?"

"I'm not sure whether this will make the next month easier, or harder."

"Yeah. I'm glad we did, though."

"Me too." She presses a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I'll try to avoid making a pun about things being hard."

"Shut up." He mutters, kissing her fully again.

A few minutes later, they emerge sheepishly and reenter the living room. Ava looks up at them expectantly from the couch.

"It was, uhh, nice to meet you." Josh says awkwardly.

"You too."

Donna leads him, hands clasped, to the front door. "I guess this is it."

"It's not even a month. It won't be so bad." He doesn't even sound like he's managed to convince himself.

"Right." She agrees softly. "I'll see you then."

"Yeah."

"Call me once you get home, okay?"

"I will." Just because he can now, he dips his head to kiss her goodbye. It's chaste compared to what they shared in her bedroom, but sweet and lingering enough to make Ava raise her eyebrows. "Bye, Donnatella."

She hugs him. "Bye."

He disappears with a sad dimpled smile and a wave to Ava, and that's it. Donna turns slowly, timidly back to face her sister, who immediately rounds on her.

" _That's_ what you had to cancel tonight?"

Donna looks away sheepishly. "Maybe."

"Well, God, now I'm actually sorry."

"It is what it is."

"He's cute."

Donna blushes, but can't help a small indulgent smile. "I know."

"Like, seriously cute. And, hey, an Ivy Leaguer."

"Yeah."

"And did you see the way he was breathing when he came in? He ran here. He ran here to see you."

"He didn't _run_ here." Donna protests, a slight girlish giggle creeping into her tone.

"It's Josh, right?"

"Right."

"You're going to tell me everything about him."

"Not with mom and dad in the car."

"Fine. When we get home." Ava points a finger at her, slinging the backpack over her shoulder once again.

"Fine." Donna allows. She grabs her suitcase handle and follows her sister out the door, her other hand gently coming up to trace her still tingling lips. For a girl who goes crazy for Christmas, she can't wait for the break to be over.

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 **Ahh finally, am I right? Hope you guys enjoyed this, let me know what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Heyyyyyy guys. Sorry about the hiatus, things have been pretty hectic for me for a while. Good hectic, thankfully, but hectic nonetheless! Thanks so much for sticking by me, and for continuing to review and pester me during the break ;)**

 **I missed you guys.**

 **Now, without further ado, let's get these two reunited why don't we?**

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When the phone rings at the dinner table, Josh and Ruth look up simultaneously, having a silent staring match for a few moments. Eventually, Josh breaks. "I'll get it."

Ruth smirks knowingly. "Who is it, sweetie?"

Josh gives her a look as he darts for the phone. "Just, ya know, Harvard people. I'm getting as many people to read this essay as possible."

"Mmhmm."

"Law school applications are important, mom!"

"A friend of yours, or-"

Noah, who has little interest in the ongoing standoff between his son and wife, grumbles into his food, "As long as you're not on too long. You've been driving up the goddamn phone bill your entire stay."

"Can't wait to get me out of your hair, huh dad?" Josh brushes out of the kitchen, heading for the phone in the living room.

Noah smiles slightly. "Like you wouldn't believe."

"Joshua, you haven't finished your food-" Ruth trails off as Josh firmly closes the door behind him. She turns her stern gaze to Noah. "He's seeing someone."

Noah chews distractedly. "Leave him alone, dear. He won't tell you if you keep prying."

Ruth sniffs. "He seems very invested."

"Mm." Noah mutters. "As long as it's not interfering with his applications."

Ruth rolls her eyes. "For god's sake! He'll get in anywhere he sets his mind to, and you know that."

Noah harrumphs. "Not if he's spending all his time on the phone to some girl."

Ruth smacks his arm.

In the living room, Josh picks up the phone, already knowing who's on the other end. He pulls his latest draft of his Duke Law essay toward him, because he was actually telling his parents the truth about the purpose of his phone call. At least, partially. "Okay, shoot," he says without greeting, holding the phone up to his ear and grinning.

Also without greeting, Donna launches in with, "Second paragraph. Third sentence."

Josh finds the place she's talking about, while in Wisconsin she looks down at her own copy, faxed to her a few hours ago. "What about it?"

"It reads like false modesty."

"No it doesn't. It's actual modesty."

"I know that's what you meant, but..."

"But what?" He challenges.

"But it's not working." She says flatly. "You can't go for 'but it's honestly not a big deal' after talking about an amazing academic track record at an Ivy League institution, taking a semester off for campaign work, and being the youngest captain in the history of the debate team. I'm sorry, but it's just not working. Go big or go home."

"Since when do you tell me to brag _more_?"

"Since you're applying to law school, and you appear to have a few accomplishments actually worth bragging about."

"Oh yeah?" He smirks.

"It was a surprise to me too." She says dryly.

"What did you think of the other one?"

"I liked it a lot, actually. I think the conclusion could use a little polish, but overall, it was good. Heartfelt."

"I finally achieved that, huh?"

"With my assistance, yes. It is no longer a clinical, boring policy pitch. It's moving."

"Well what you wanted me to write was basically a romance novel about the tax system, so I guess together, we write one halfway decent essay."

"Would seem so." She says brightly.

There's a comfortable lull in the phone call, and Josh sets his application materials aside. "So how's the Great White North?"

"Cold." She says simply. "Connecticut?"

"Cold." He echoes. "Your family?"

She sighs. "My brother leaves on Sunday, hopefully that'll ease some of the pressure. You know, before we burst."

"That bad, huh?"

"This morning he coughed and Ava threw a plate at his head."

"Tis the season."

"Christmas is over. Let's get a move on already."

"Excited to get back, huh?"

"You could say that." She says coyly. "You?"

"Yeah. At least that way I can get away from my mother's interrogations into my personal life."

"Tis the season."

"Guess so."

"Oh! I thought of something else."

"Yeah?"

"The Freedom Trail! I want to walk the Freedom Trail."

"Okay." Josh says ambivalently. "I've done that before, but we can do it again. Add it to the list."

He can hear her pout through the phone. "It's not my fault you've lived there three years longer than me!"

"I said add it to the list, Donna. We'll do it. It'll be fun."

"Good." As the keeper of the physical list of places they want to go and things they want to do when they see each other again (though neither calls it this, their "date list"), she scribbles down _Freedom Trail._

"Might be better in spring, though?"

"You think I'll still like you by then?" She teases.

"Here's hoping." He says dryly.

"Okay. Get this in by Friday, okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Six more days."

"Six more days." He agrees. If he didn't have his applications to work on, the anticipation would be driving him crazy. It kind of is, regardless.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too." They linger on the words each time, as they never feel like quite enough.

"It's your turn to call."

"I'll call."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

He keeps the phone to his ear, listening. After a moment, he hears, "Josh?"

"Mm?"

"I said bye."

"I know. I did too."

"And yet you're still on the line."

"So are you."

"Hm."

"Hm." He closes his eyes. "I miss you."

"You said that already."

"I know."

"I'm really running up my bill, here."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Goodnight, Joshua."

"Goodnight, Donnatella."

"..."

"..."

"Josh?"

"Mm?"

"We're not going to be one of those couples."

"Okay. So hang up."

"Okay."

Finally, he hears the line click dead, and he smiles to himself. Not even the thought of his mother's prying eyes when he returns to the kitchen can kill his mood. Six more days.

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With her heart jumping into her throat, Donna stands as she watches Josh's car pull into its parking spot outside his apartment building. He'd told her he would come by after he got home and unpacked, but she got done unpacking a little early and decided to surprise him. Of course, she hadn't really thought this through, and had ended up sitting on the curb in the cold for a good half hour.

But as she sees his face split into a grin, it all feels worth it.

Their month apart had been a little strange, as they weren't exactly "dating" yet and had only kissed a few times. Their status was as of yet undetermined, and the uncertainty led to some nerves. Distance was hard for any relationship, but for a new one, it was particularly taxing.

But as he opens his car door and steps out, that all melts away.

Donna stands up and bounds over to him, and he meets her halfway. He wraps his arms tightly around her, even lifting her an inch off the ground in his excitement.

"Hey stranger." She says into his ear, beaming.

"Hey yourself."

"Did you get taller? Finally hit that growth spurt?"

"Shut up." He beams uncontrollably. "I told you I'd come over later."

"I know, I just..."

"Couldn't wait that long, huh?"

"I'll leave if you're not careful."

He finally releases her, and they stare at each other for a moment, matching smiles. "How was your break?"

"We talked almost every day."

"And?"

"Long. My break was long."

"Yeah. Mine too."

She takes a step toward his car. "You want help in with your stuff?"

"I can get it later. C'mon, you must be freezing."

Happily, she follows him inside, pleased when his hand finds its usual spot on her back. "You should know that I'm not here in an official capacity, by the way. This isn't my official date look. You can still pick me up later, and let me tell you, I'll look good."

He looks at her jeans and sweater and shrugs. "You look good now."

She rolls her eyes. "You haven't seen nothing yet."

"Well then, I guess I'm excited."

"You should be."

He closes his door behind them, and hesitates once inside. Before she can go further, he grabs her shoulders and presses her against the closed door. She looks surprised, but her eyes light up in excitement. He leans in. "This is okay, right?"

"More than okay."

His mouth tugs into half a smile. "I couldn't wait any longer." He kisses her, gently at first, but before long her hands tangle in his hair and she parts her lips invitingly. Given that he's only gotten to do this a couple times before, it still thrills him beyond words. At the same time, it's oddly familiar. He moves his hands slowly to her waist, and pulls her lower lip into his mouth. At her encouragement, he bites gently, testing the waters. What he'd intended as a friendly "hello" kiss is rapidly turning into a "I've been up nights for a month thinking about you" kiss.

She smiles against his lips. "You're good at that." She mumbles.

"You haven't seen nothing yet." Emboldened, he trails kisses along her jaw and even dips to her neck, something he hadn't had the time for last month. The slight sighing sound this elicits is enough to make him dizzy. He pulls back an inch, trying to calm down. "Sorry. Got a little carried away."

"Don't apologize." She says somewhat breathlessly, and returns her lips to his. She flicks her tongue against his, proving she's not without her own amount of skill.

This kiss is shorter, as both of them are a little more aware. After a moment, he rests his forehead against hers, the air between them practically vibrating. "You, um, want some coffee or something?"

She chuckles, the little puff of air hitting his cheek. "Sure."

Slightly unsteady, he leads her to the kitchen, where he roots around aimlessly for a minute before finding the coffee. He's never been the best at making coffee, but this time it takes him exceptionally long to get the pot started.

She watches him as he fumbles around the kitchen, leaning back against the counter. Her heart flutters every time he makes eye contact with her, his shy smile melting her.

She clears her throat. "So the drive back was okay?"

"Yeah, icy in parts but not too bad. You?"

"Okay. That many hours in a car with Ava will do things to you, but I guess I'm used to it. She wouldn't shut up about you, you know."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She didn't mind that part too terribly. "She might've been more excited about our reunion than I was."

"Is that so?" He starts the coffee with a final switch and leans back against the opposite counter, challenging her with a smirk.

She purses her lips. "Maybe."

He folds his arms. "When's your first class on Monday?"

"Ten."

"Not too bad. It's a math class, right?"

"Yeah." She says irritably. "Gen eds."

His smirk grows. "I'm done with those. And I don't start until eleven on Mondays."

She makes a face. "Must be nice."

"Just twelve credit hours this semester, too."

Breaking eye contact briefly, she lifts herself atop his counter and resumes staring at him. Eventually, she caves. "Get over here."

He pushes himself off the counter and goes to stand between her knees, eyes glowing softly. She loops her arms loosely around his neck, one hand gently grazing the curls at the bottom of her neck. He takes this as invitation enough to get even closer to her, and rest his hands on her thighs. She smiles, and the close distance makes him a little dizzy again.

"Hi." She says simply.

"Hi." He echoes.

With a small humming noise, she lowers her smile to his and kisses him softly. He responds eagerly, and like before, their kiss doesn't stay kept for long. Getting him back for earlier, she starts to stray and grazes his neck with her teeth as she does so, causing his breath to hitch sharply. She giggles at the response.

"Fine then, Moss. If that's how you want to play it." He returns his attention to her neck, sucking and nipping until she's squirming.

"I'll get hickeys!" She manages, barely.

"Wear a turtleneck." He mumbles against her collarbone before continuing, making her laugh again. His hands rove to her hips, squeezing firmly.

She pulls on his hair, forcing his lips back to hers. She kisses him without reservation, the only other sound being the slow drip of the coffee into the pot.

His hands skim under her layers of sweater and shirt, causing goosebumps to rise on her back. This feels right. So unbelievably right. But if they keep letting themselves get carried away like this, it won't be long before they're in bed. And while most of her wants that, and has been actively wanting it for sometime now, another part of her is hesitant. She'd told Stella last month that she didn't want to rush things - and that holds true. She doesn't want to jump the gun, and ruin things before they've even really begun. What if their spark fades? What if he looks at her differently afterward? What if they never make it to their wonderful list of dates?

As if he can read her mind, Josh stops. "Is this okay?"

She loves how often he checks in with her. It's sweet. "Yes." She says immediately. "No."

Josh draws back, his brow furrowing. "Sorry, we don't have to-"

She keeps her hands on him, pulling him back toward her and shaking her head. "No, it's not that. It's just..." Her face colors. "I'm just... And I know this may sound a little preemptive, but I'm just not sure I want to have sex on the first date."

"Well." He gives her one of those disarming dimpled grins. "Technically, we haven't even been on our first date."

She doesn't laugh.

"Donna, we don't have to do anything you don't want to. Seriously. You can drink your coffee and go, and I'll pick you up later like we planned, and then we'll have a totally abstinent - practically platonic - night, and then-"

Finally, he earns a smile. "Josh, stop. It's not about me being uncomfortable, though you're sweet to worry. I'm just afraid... I don't know, this isn't moving too fast, is it?"

"For me? No." He shrugs. "But I can't speak for you. It's been several months for me, but maybe you're-"

"It's been several months for me too." She admits.

"Okay." He says slowly.

She sighs, and looks away from him. "I guess I'm just worried... Things won't be the same after."

"Donna." His tone has become somewhat stern. "Are you worried that I won't want want you after you sleep with me?"

She doesn't look at him. "No, I just-"

"Donna." He repeats. "I waited months for you. You really think all that's gonna change in the morning?"

She softens. She looks into his eyes, gazing so earnestly up at her. What he didn't say, but what she knows he meant, is that he's in this for the long haul. It's too soon for either of them to say that, but somehow they both know it. She kisses him once, taking him by surprise. "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay." She kisses him once more, lingering. "Just keep kissing me. We'll see what happens."

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A couple hours later, Donna pads back into the kitchen, clad in a tshirt and a pair of Josh's pajama pants. Josh follows behind doggedly, in only his boxers. "Aha! Coffee! See, I knew we made some."

"That was ages ago."

"Mmhmm." Donna pecks his lips idly, unable to stay long away from him, and reaches into a cabinet for a mug.

He watches her, fascinated by the sight in front of him. The woman he's been thinking about for months is walking around his kitchen in his clothes like she's lived here all her life. He waits until she's done stirring creamer into her coffee. "Alright. Let's go back to bed."

"Good idea." Despite saying this, they linger in the kitchen, and he presses her back against the counter, kissing her again.

"Wait a minute." His head pops up a moment later.

"Mm?" With one hand she raises her mug to her lips, the other absently rubbing his shoulder.

"A date. We were supposed to go on a date."

"Oh yeah." She says mildly. "You still wanna do that?"

"Do you?"

She tilts her head, considering. "I am kind of hungry."

"So, dinner?"

She bites her lip, unknowingly driving Josh slightly mad by doing so. "I don't know. You really want to get dressed, and all that?"

"Oh god no. But, you're hungry, so I figured-"

"Do you maybe just wanna get takeout?" Donna interrupts.

Slowly, Josh's face splits into a grin. "You're the perfect woman, you know that?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

He pinches her waist, making her squirm. "You sure you don't want a fancier first date?"

She shakes her head happily. "We can eat in bed."

Fifteen minutes later, they find themselves in line at the cheap Chinese place a few blocks down, both now wearing warm pajamas and layers of sweatshirts. Josh watches affectionately as Donna scans the menu, flicking her messy blonde hair out of her face as she reads. She's so unbearably cute, and the prospect of spending the entire night with her is both thrilling and comforting all at once. Finally, he doesn't have to dread saying a premature goodbye.

She catches him staring. "What is it?"

He smirks. "There's no way you had a better first date outfit planned than this."

She grins. She reaches out to take his hand, intertwining their fingers as they move up in line. "Maybe not, but it was something. Maybe I'll let you see it sometime."

"Can't wait."

"There's no way you had a better first date planned than this."

"Actually, this was my plan all along."

"Really?"

"Sure."

"Hm, well, props to you. It was no Freedom Trail, but..."

"The night is still young, Donnatella. We could do anything."

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 **:) I'm happy. Are you guys happy? Thanks for reading!**


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